In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school they start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this positive or negative development?
The living lifestyle of today's generation has altered
due to
the rise of competition in further
education after finishing school as they initiate spending their life own or staying with their age groups leaving their parents behind. I believe separation promotes independence, self-reliance as well as
personal development and I discuss this
in the upcoming paragraphs .
To begin
with, living away from family trains people
how to live their own life. In other words
, the young generation must learn how to manage everything such
as financial expenses, bills, fees , grocery budgets and so on which would be beneficial for their successful future. For example
, an International survey has shown that 80% of students migrate for their higher study in different countries and they are brilliant in management rather than others who are living with their parents with no responsibility,consequently
, they are at higher risk of failure in their career than those who are experienced in management in their early twenties.
Secondly
, parents who agree with their children to shift themselves somewhere else are those who want their children's personal growth as if they independently connected with other people
without their parent's support to become more successful in their work career. For instance
, interacting with more and more outside people
who are successful in their lives assists children to follow their path and socially become sharp-minded and connect with the modern world, as a result
, they live up-to-date by joining brilliant people
.
In conclusion, living outside of home not only sharpens youngster's
Change noun form
youngsters'
mind
but Fix the agreement mistake
minds
also
provides them more
confidence to interact with prestigious Change preposition
with more
people
who guide them on how to be successful as well as
aware them of upcoming technologySubmitted by maninderdeep on
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introduction
Ensure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, making your stance immediately obvious to the reader.
language
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
language
Consider diversifying your sentence structures for a more sophisticated and engaging text.
development
When providing examples, make sure they are specific and directly support your point.
accuracy
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structure
You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task with relevant arguments and examples.
content
You've done a good job in discussing both the benefits of living away from home, strengthening your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.