IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that educating people about the natural world is the most effective way to protect the environment. Other say there are more effective ways to protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world #environment
According to
 the
last
 century
Correct article usage
the populaion
show examples
populaion
Correct your spelling
population
 rate
Add a missing verb
has increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 day by by and still is growing. Here,
Correct article usage
the manger
show examples
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 facing
this
 century now is
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
population
. Now we are going to
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
furture
Correct your spelling
future
 and facing many critical problems, so
this
 essay will discuss
highlight
Correct word choice
and highlight
show examples
 overpopulation causes and effects of
this
problem
 and which is solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
. Let’s begin with,
this
 is true that we are facing plentiful and serious problems and the first reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 joint families and
birth
Add an article
the birth
show examples
 of number
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
 without any
futhure
Correct your spelling
future
further
plainting
Correct your spelling
planting
painting
. People are not following
government
 rules
as well as
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should action on individuals
However
,
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 in
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 of
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 effect
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the number of children. Here,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 are facing kind of they does not provide good education, much better
takecare
Correct your spelling
take care
 of their wards as best hospitality.
For instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
given
Change the verb form
give
be given
show examples
sechme
Correct your spelling
scheme
 and
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 kids. To
execuite
Correct your spelling
execute
 in humans through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media.
Furthermore
, people
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
 their
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditions
such
 as
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
birth
Wrong verb form
birthing
show examples
many
Change preposition
of many
show examples
 kids in
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 and they
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
this
 tradition,
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 reason is
uneducation
Correct your spelling
education
 in massas because they know about
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
This
 is the pivotal reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 overpopulation
Although
 we are facing
unemployeement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 and
impovarment
Correct your spelling
improvement
empowerment
.
government
 should
penailty
Correct your spelling
penalty
 or charge on
those mankind
Change the determiner
that mankind
show examples
 and awar to
youngester
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
 who that aware to other uneducated people
moreover
 rural areas. For
exmple
Correct your spelling
example
china
Correct your spelling
China
show examples
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
population
Replace the word
populated
show examples
 country in the world but now
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 is the first highest
population
 country
according to
 the annual report.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should hard action on
this
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
problem
 as far as it is very
dangrious
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 for
Correct article usage
the futhure
show examples
futhure
Correct your spelling
future
 so that we will
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
suffered
Change the verb form
suffer
show examples
 in future.
Submitted by PREETY  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: