It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Most people believe that taking risks in life is crucial, and it can lead to a better future. For me, there are a lot more advantages of doing
this
and I'll go over some relevant benefits of this
assumption in this
essay.
Personally, It is already reckoned that taking big risks in our professional dwell and in our personal life is a necessary thing to do in our lifetime at least once. Firstly
, doing something dangerous, which might bring fortune and fame to some people. Secondly
, it is an unforgetful
fun thing to do. Correct your spelling
unforgettable
For example
, taking a big exam is a kind of heart beating, but it means you do some act to achieve your goal. But once you passed
that hard exam, you will be more confident in any hard situation.
Wrong verb form
pass
Moreover
, unpredictable and dangerous things are scary, but if you have a good plan, and having
full of measurements, you have to try those, Verb problem
are
such
as changing a mundane office job that you hate to do, updating the looks you never had before, and open your heart to another person that you secretly admired for a long time etcetera. For instance
, the president of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, decided to quit a top university, Harvard, only for chasing
his dream Change preposition
to chase
for create
a big network. Change preposition
of creating
Although
he was a top student at the university, he realized that he had to take a huge risk for his aim.
To conclude
, if some individuals are desperate for changing
their current situation, they have to "jump into fire" sometimes. It may seem arduous in the first place, but numerous advantages still exist behind the challenging things. If you once used to do it, you feel proud of yourself after successfully Change preposition
to change
overcome
.Wrong verb form
overcoming it
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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final perspective.
task achievement
The response addresses the question with relevant examples, but does not fully develop the discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's perspective and the conclusion provides a final opinion.