IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. You have just returned from holiday and were not satisfied with your trip. Write to the travel agency. In your letter •Say where / when you went on holiday •Explain why you are not satisfied with your holiday •Tell them what you would like them to do

#minutes #holiday #trip #travel #agency #•say #•explain #•tell
Dear Sr I am writing
this
 letter to express my extreme dissatisfaction regarding a holiday which was organized by your company for
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two weeks. On the 3rd December, my husband booked a trip for 2 adults and 2 children from your travel agency for 6 days and 5 nights to Korea. During our meeting to prepare for the trip, you gave us clear instructions regarding the services that your company support
to
Change preposition
apply
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us. It included 2 nights in
4-star
Correct article usage
a 4-star
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 Seoul hotel and a free double-decker bus
tickets
Fix the agreement mistake
ticket
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 for city sightseeing for 4 members.
However
, once we arrived in Seoul, we were surprised that the receptionist told us there was 1 night
only
Rephrase
apply
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available for us to stay because the hotel was booked for the special season and the extra room that we could rent was only for 2 adults. The second problem is the free double-decker bus tickets from your promotions to visit sightseeing city which were free for 2 adults only. Even though we could manage ourselves for the extra cost it was an additional economic burden for our trip’s budget. I would suggest you provide your customers with all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
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 which you can ensure prior to the journey and if you could provide your services better so that you can attract more internal
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 for outing travel. I look forward to hearing your positive response Yours faithfully,
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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greeting and closing
Consider starting your letter with a polite salutation such as 'Dear Sir or Madam' and end with an appropriate valedictory such as 'Kind regards' or 'Sincerely'. This adds a respectful tone to the communication.
logical structure
Make sure that the information provided is consistent throughout the letter. For example, you mentioned both 2 and 4 members in different parts of the letter. This discrepancy needs to be addressed to avoid confusion.
single idea per paragraph
Your letter could benefit from clearer paragraphing whereby each paragraph contains a single idea or complaint. While this is mostly observed, the last paragraph introduces two different suggestions which could have been separated for better clarity.
complete response
You have appropriately addressed all parts of the task and provided the necessary detail required. You have also made clear what resolution you would like from the travel agency.
suitable writing tone
Be consistent with the level of formality throughout the letter. Phrases such as 'I am looking forward to hearing...' would be more appropriately formal than 'I look forward to hearing...'
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