IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #houses #style #areas #freedom
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Some
people
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 argue that newly built
houses
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 should be designed in the same
style
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 as existing homes in the same area,
while
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 others believe that it is the right of
people
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 to make decisions on their own.
This
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 essay explores both perspectives and presents a balanced approach that preserves architectural harmony and cultural heritage
while
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 encouraging creativity and modern solutions to meet current needs. Advocates claim that newly built
houses
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 should follow the
style
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 of old
houses
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, as
individuals
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 indirectly connect to the past.
This
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 means that old
houses
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 can provide a tangible connection to the past, leading to gaining a better understanding of architectural styles and craftsmanship.
For example
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, in Yazd, a city in Iran, the majority of buildings that are being constructed follow old
houses
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, as it not only helps the public connect themselves to past civilizations but
also
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 fosters a sense of unity and integrity.
As a result
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,
this
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 view emphasizes valuing cultural heritage, history, and costumes.
On the other hand
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, it can be argued that it is the right of
individuals
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 to freely make decisions about the
style
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 of their
houses
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.
Although
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 the
style
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 of old
houses
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 cultivates a sense of nostalgia, some
people
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 prioritize the modern
style
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, potentially aligning with their interests and preferences.
Additionally
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, these days, the majority of
people
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 are concerned about environmental degradation and
pursuit
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pursue
show examples
 renewable energy,
such
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 as solar, or wind panels, which significantly reduce energy waste.
However
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, old
houses
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 generally lack
such
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 appliances, they cannot be the
people
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’s choices. In conclusion,
although
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 some
individuals
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 assert that newly built
houses
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 should be based on the
style
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 of old ones, others contend that
people
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 should have the freedom to build
houses
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 of their own
style
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. Yet, I am of the opinion that a balanced approach is key, where the essence of traditional architecture is maintained to preserve cultural heritage,
while
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also
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 allowing for modern innovations and sustainable solutions to meet the current needs and preferences of
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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task achievement
While the essay is well-structured, consider providing more specific examples to strengthen the arguments, especially for the point about modern styles meeting environmental concerns.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are equally developed to provide a balanced discussion. More details on the benefits of architectural diversity could enhance the argument.
task achievement
Further elaborate on the disadvantages of not following local styles to fully cover opposing viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the topic.
task achievement
Ideas are conveyed clearly and comprehensively, with relevant examples like the city of Yazd effectively demonstrating cultural connections.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, facilitating easy comprehension for the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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