IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while other say that they should think more realistically about their future. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are many factors in a
person
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's
life
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 that determine whether that individual will succeed in
life
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 or not. Several
people
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 believe that youths should have the
right
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 to choose whatever
job
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 they like,
while
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 many other
people
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 think that youngsters should become more practical when it comes to the case of choosing their
career
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. I think that every human should be free to decide what
job
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 they should do for the rest of their
life
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views on the topic. Even though it is a topic of debate, I believe that
career
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choices
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 should be made depending on one's
passion
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. A
person
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 spends the majority of the time in his
life
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, at the workplace rather than at home.
Additionally
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, an individual's
career
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choices
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 have a direct impact on that
person
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's happiness in
life
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,
that is
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 their work has a direct effect on their mental health.
Therefore
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, it is not unreasonable to say that it is the fundamental
right
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 of every human being to choose what they love to do.
For example
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, if a
person
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 chooses to become an actor out of
passion
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, that individual will never complain about going to work.
That is
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 when a man engages in what he adores, it will not seem like a
job
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, rather it will feel like doing a hobby.
Moreover
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, the progression and excellence of performance in a
career
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 field depend on the level of interest, a young man/young woman has in their chosen role, whether it be a salesperson or a doctor. The greater an individual's interest in something, the greater that young
person
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's performance will be. A large number of
people
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 make
career
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choices
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 based on that profession's earning capacity and several other realistic reasons
such
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 as employability. Even though there is a strong rationale behind choosing future jobs based on
passion
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, certain roles are not reliable.
For instance
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, artists rely on the profits made from selling their artefacts.
However
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, if an artist is unable to sell his works at a reasonable price, it will lead to a financial crisis.
Hence
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, choosing a
career
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 which has a
high-earning
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high earning
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 ability is not a wrong decision.
Moreover
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, jobs chosen on the basis of practical rationales have several advantages,
for example
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,
job
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 security, financial stability, and other benefits like annual leave and maternity leave.
Although
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 there are several reasons to support realistic
career
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choices
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, I believe that a
person
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 should follow their
passion
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. In conclusion, choosing the
right
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 profession is a herculean task for every youngster. Young
people
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 should have the
right
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 to choose their jobs freely.
Otherwise
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, it will affect their satisfaction and happiness in
life
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.

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and presents a clear opinion, which is well-supported. However, more specific examples could be included to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary the sentence structures and use more complex sentences to improve the overall coherence and cohesion. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces the topic and presents the writer’s opinion clearly.
task achievement
Both views are well-explained with logical reasoning and adequate support.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to its overall coherence.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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