IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

One of the most commonly shared consensuses these days is that the most favoured way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum permitted age for driving. Agree or Disagree?

#consensuses #road #safety #age
One of the most commonly shared consensuses these days is that the most favoured way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum permitted age for driving.
However
, there is no absolute agreement on
this
 matter
due to
 the split opinions, so the following essay will discuss both sides and provide a proper conclusion. Some
people
 claim that the majority of youngsters do not own serious intentions beyond driving. Not only do they view it as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment and act irresponsibly, but they
also
 frequently cause accidents.
Moreover
, injudicious things they tend to do for joy ordinarily come across as
danger
Correct article usage
a danger
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road security. Getting inebriated or driving with extremely loud music is a good example of
this
. Adolescents should be more observant in case they are willing to avoid unfortunate difficulties. Turning to the other side of the argument, it is not so fair-minded to blame the younger population in most incidents. Viewing them as the main reason for the most troubles makes other
people
 clean-handed, when in fact, it is not true.
Have
Wrong verb form
Having
show examples
 fun and
live
Replace the word
living
show examples
 youth is what teenagers wish for.
However
, why is nothing being said about the adults who cause disasters by being careless regarding safe driving
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 The vast majority of mature
people
 nowadays navigate inattentively, by disobeying the rules.
Nevertheless
, the general public still manages to accuse young
people
 only. To summarize, by taking everything stated into consideration, I believe that
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 the legal driving age
as well as
strictening
Correct your spelling
christening
 existing regulations would make a great impact on better on-road safety. The preferred age for driving is 21 years in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of developed countries.
This
 appears to be a good decision
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it is proved that less amount of accidents
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 in those nations.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: