In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #measures #counter #situation

It is an undeniable fact of modern life that traditional carnivals and

holidays

are gradually vanishing in diverse parts of

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

While

I accept that there will be some negative consequences of

this

trend, societies can take some steps to mitigate these potential problems.

Initially

, one of the significant

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

is online

games

. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a strong perception among scientists that modern computer, Playstation and some other online

games

have

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

crucial impact on youngsters. The youngsters gradually become addicted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online

games

therefore

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of them tend to stay home and

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

instead

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

part in festivals or

holidays

Secondly

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another issue that causes

Correct article usage

the disappearing

show examples

disappearing

Replace the word

disappearance

show examples

of traditional celebrations is

rapid

Correct article usage

the rapid

show examples

lifestyle. Especially,

urban

Add an article

the urban

an urban

show examples

population of developed and developing countries has no time to participate in any

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

such

as festivals or celebrations

due to

their jobs and responsibilities which have short deadlines. There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. One of them is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

governments are supposed to analyse the

games

in terms of their addictive impact on

youngestars

Correct your spelling

youngsters

In addition

, there should be

age

Correct article usage

an age

show examples

restriction in order to

playing

Change the verb

play

show examples

such

games

. These could help youngsters to avoid the addictive effects of

games

and encourage them to participate

such

Change preposition

in such

show examples

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of traditional activities that are mentioned above. The other solution for

this

situation is shortening work time or giving employees

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

off on

holidays

. Traditional celebrations should be promoted on local

TVs

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

. In conclusion, different measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise with

Correct article usage

the disappearing

show examples

disappearing

Replace the word

disappearance

show examples

of traditional

holidays

and other activities.

Submitted by mr.mehdiyevkamran on Wed May 31 2023

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to give a clear example
such as
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to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

traditional festivals
heritage
cultural identity
folklore
cultural tourism
intergenerational
homogenization
commercialization
intangible cultural heritage
community engagement
awareness
revitalize
cultural diversity
educational programs
governmental support
logistical support

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In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?