Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success. Others argue that the happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion

many
people
believe that happiness is related to
people
's economy. nowadays, with global development everything become expensive, maybe they have a point of view. when
people
have high incomes and become financially stable, they will be satisfied and meet the perspective of a comfortable life.
additionally
, money can help citizens to reach their goals faster and in a high-standard way.
for example
, they can enhance their education by attending professional universities, putting their children in private schools, and
also
studying abroad which can broaden
people
's horizons.
moreover
, a high salary can help individuals to meet life needs like food, buying a house, driving modern cars, and
also
buying clothes from well-known brands. if we look at the poor
people
on the streets and compared them to rich
families
, maybe we will understand the concept of the wealthier you are, the happier you will be. moving on to the other opinion, we can notice that not every rich family is happy. Citizens believe that the meaning of happiness goes beyond
people
's salary. there are several things that cannot be bought with money like love, friendship, faith, and having your family and friends around you. several rich
families
are feeling lonely, even though they have a big house, and drive many cars. being poor does not mean you are desperate, there are many loving poor
families
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
pleased with their lives. the latest study conducted by
German
Add an article
a German
show examples
university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
revealed that 90 per cent of rich
families
have mental health problems.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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