The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recent years have witnessed a significant increase in the
obesity
rate, causing pressure on the healthcare system around the world.
Consequently
, some contend that incorporating physical
education
into the school curriculum is the most optimal medium to overcome
this
issue. Personally, I hold different opinions on it. In
this
essay, I will explain my justification in detail.
To begin
with, opponents believe that including physical
education
in the learning program plays a pivotal role in curbing
obesity
. They argue that providing physical lessons might instill a habit of regular physical activities at a young age which can reduce the
obesity
problem in the long term.
Furthermore
,
this
program can enhance students’ awareness of the importance of health and fitness, potentially encouraging a healthy lifestyle choice outside the school.
While
I agree that physical
education
has its own merits, it is not a comprehensive method to overcome
obesity
. It is essential to acknowledge that
obesity
can be influenced by several factors,
such
as genetics, dietary habits and sedentary lifestyle.
Therefore
, solely focusing on physical activities might neglect the importance of a holistic understanding of mental health, nutrition and. More than that, the effectiveness of
this
strategy can be compromised by various elements, including inadequate facilities, a lack of qualified instructors and varying students’ interests. To overcome
this
problem, I believe that it is imperative to have a multifaceted solution that extends beyond the classroom. To be more specific, governments should collaborate with schools to promote health-conscious policies, including regulating the amount of unhealthy snacks at schools and promoting nutrition
education
. These policies provide students with useful knowledge, helping them to make informed decisions about their daily diet.
Additionally
, governments might consider allocating more resources to recreational amenities, sports facilities and community programs which are accessible to all members of society. By doing some, students can be offered a wide variety of physical options which align with their interests and needs. In conclusion,
although
physical
education
lessons can reduce the
obesity
rate to a certain extent, I believe that the solution for
this
matter requires a combination of strategies, including well-rounded
education
and well-developed infrastructure facilitating physical activities in the public.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument and enhance task response, incorporate more detailed, specific examples that directly support your main points. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or specific real-world instances where implementing a multifaceted approach to combat obesity proved effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and good use of introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion further, focus on smoother transitions between paragraphs and sentences. Explicit linking phrases could be more frequently utilized to enhance the flow between your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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