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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA.
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The table demonstrates several demographics of Americans in three different states, namely, California,
Utah
Use synonyms
 and Florida. The criteria selected for the comparison include age, average income and impoverished population. As a whole,
Utah
Use synonyms
 consisted of tremendous statistics in all arenas except the personal economy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Florida denoted a slower birth rate than the death rate.
Utah
Use synonyms
 possessed a higher population of children at 28%, meanwhile accounting for a comparatively lesser number of older people at 8%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Florida comprised the least number of youngsters at 16%,
whereas
Linking Words
, a significant number of elders were detected at 23%. Most importantly, Californians showed the highest average income out of all the three states that recorded $23,000, contrary to
Utah
Use synonyms
 which denoted the slightest figures of $17,000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, California showcased a multitude of underprivileged residents at 16%,
while
Linking Words
,
Utah
Use synonyms
 exhibited the fewest quantity at 9% in
this
Linking Words
 segment.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words utah with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "denoted" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disparities
  • correlate
  • socio-economic factors
  • demographic
  • economic prosperity
  • variance
  • indicators
  • social welfare programs
  • economic development
  • policy-making
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