Both governments and individual are spending vast amounts of money in protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in the society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extend do you agree?
There are split opinions
for
the given statement. Change preposition
on
Majority
of the folks argue that Correct article usage
The majority
amount
collected by the government should be spent on wildlife and their living. Correct article usage
the amount
While
others focus in
eradicating poverty , Change preposition
on
improving
Correct word choice
and improving
healthcare
system with the help of Correct article usage
the healthcare
this
money. To a large extent
I believe that protecting species is more important and my position is argued Add a comma
,extent
further
.
Examining the former statement, first
and foremost reason is population is increasing at an alarming rate and because of which Add an article
the first
th
ended for the infrastructure Correct your spelling
the
in
increasing. Correct your spelling
is
This
leads to deforestation which destroys the living
of many Replace the word
lives
animals
.To cite an example, tigers are often found roaming on the streets of the
society or are found in houses , the reason behind Correct article usage
apply
this
is cutting down the forest to create living
for humans. Correct article usage
a living
Therefore
, investing money on
wildlife sanctuary and national park is important. Another argument that can strike the mind of the people Change preposition
in
is
our future generations will not be able to see these Correct your spelling
in
animals
. As in some countries killing animals
and decorating them in house
is considered Add an article
the house
a house
as
status symbol. So, protecting Correct your spelling
a
animals
as well as
their living
is necessary.
Focusing on the latter view, some thinkers Replace the word
lives
states
that , the concept of richer becoming more rich and poor becoming more poor is increasing. Change the verb form
state
Therefore
, the government should introduce certain schemes or incentives that will be beneficial for the class of people who are below poverty
line. Add an article
the poverty
Furthermore
, individuals are not getting proper medical facilities as private hospitals are costly and the
government hospitals often don't care. As per some reports hygiene issues and Correct article usage
apply
death
ratio has increased a lot in Correct article usage
the death
city
hospital.
In a nutshell, there are some threats associated with the second view of the statement. But in my Add an article
a city
the city
opinion
I strongly believe that investing money Add a comma
,opinion
on
protecting wildlife and their habitat is more rational.Change preposition
in
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite