The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below

The chart below shows participation in certain leisure activities by children in Australia. Write a report describing the information shown below
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The bar chart shows the proportion of
boys
Use synonyms
and
girls
Use synonyms
, aged 5-14 years, engaging in five different activities in Australia. The modal
activity
Use synonyms
is watching TV/videos with 100% of
boys
Use synonyms
and 100% of
girls
Use synonyms
engaging in
this
Linking Words
form of leisure.
Boys
Use synonyms
overshadowed the
girls
Use synonyms
in skateboarding, bike riding and electronic/
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
girls
Use synonyms
were
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
higher proportion in arts and crafts. The largest difference in participation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
was seen in playing electronic/
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, with approximately 80% of
boys
Use synonyms
and 60%
Use synonyms
girls
Change preposition
of girls
show examples
. The least favoured
activity
Use synonyms
for the
boys
Use synonyms
was arts and crafts, whilst it was skateboarding for the
girls
Use synonyms
. Aside from watching TV and videos, the next popular
activity
Use synonyms
for
boys
Use synonyms
was playing electronic/
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
there was a tie for the
girls
Use synonyms
with bike riding and playing electronic/
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
;
thus
Linking Words
the next populous
activity
Use synonyms
, after watching TV/videos, was playing electronic/
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is safe to say more children prefer their entertainment whilst relaxing and watching something rather than being required to physically move.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, activity, computer, games with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • engagement levels
  • leisure activities
  • downward trend
  • popularity
  • participation rates
  • comparisons
  • analyze
  • general trends
  • highlight
  • significance
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