Some people think that the popularity of the cinemas around the world has declined. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #popularity #cinemas #world

To a greater

extent

Add a comma

,extent

show examples

I agree that the popularity of

cinemas

decreased in the world. With the coming of technology, visits to the

movie

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

have depreciated as many folks can now download films online and view them from home. Most film theatre centres have closed thereby living only a few in operation

hence

fewer

people

visit the

cinemas

. The coming of social media has distanced

people

from attending

cinemas

as most

people

spend more time glued to their gadgets. A lot of online streaming sites are now available and it is even cheaper to view films online compared to visiting

cinemas

.A variety of films will be available for your selection

hence

making it easy for one to

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

movie

they prefer compared to seeing whatever is offered by the

movie

house. These days, movies are

also

available on compact discs that are available for sale or rental from shops and anyone can rent out the disc and view on their personal time thereby removing the need to visit

cinemas

. The need for money has

also

resulted in fewer

people

going out

for

Change preposition

show examples

movies as they will be at work. To a lesser

extent

Add a comma

,extent

show examples

I disagree that the fame of

cinemas

has declined as there are still some

people

who visit

cinemas

every day. If

movie

houses have lost

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

grip, they would have all closed. On the greater side,

cinemas

have lost their fame.

Submitted by adolfrukarwa on Thu Jun 01 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

236 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

popularity
declined
online streaming platforms
cinema attendance
convenience
affordability
competition
unique experience

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Some people think that the popularity of the cinemas around the world has declined. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Museum and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than show the cultures or artworks or other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?