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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness

#happiness #life #factors
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It is indisputable that
happiness
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 is an essential element in human life.
People
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 said it is a hard task to explain what exactly
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness
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 is. Indeed, It
probably
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is probably
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 because influences of contextual and cultural
factors
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.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, humans’ basic needs play a significant role in reaching full
joys
Fix the agreement mistake
joy
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.
People
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 find that it is
confused
Replace the word
confusing
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 to state the definition of
happiness
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,
due to
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 the concept of collectivism versus individualism. In individualistic cultures,
such
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 as the United States and Western European countries,
people
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 often prioritize individual goals and aspirations.
For example
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, cheerfulness may be associated with personal achievements, independence, and self-fulfilment.
On the other hand
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, in collective cultures,
such
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 as many Asian countries,
happiness
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 is more closely tied to social harmony, family relationships and group well-being. To be more specific, the emphasis is placed on fulfilling social expectations, maintaining strong family bonds, and contributing to the welfare of the community. It is
also
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 important to consider the
factors
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 that can contribute to achieving fulfilment. I believe that physical health is one of the most important
factors
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, taking care of one’s physical well-being through regular exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep could have a positive impact on obtaining
happiness
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. In that way,
people
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 can engage in numerous meaningful activities. Another factor in reaching
happiness
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 is positive relationships, having strong and supportive relationships with family, friends and loved ones can greatly contribute to
happiness
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. To be more specific, without family or friends to share experiences with, some
happiness
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 might mean nothing. In conclusion,
happiness
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 actually plays an indispensable role in human mental life.
Due to
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 a variety of cultures and contexts, it is an obstacle to define
happiness
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.
Besides
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, to achieve fulfilment,
people
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aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 need to have the aforementioned fundamental
factors
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.
Submitted by trangch705 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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