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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #income #life #work
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One
 spends quite a large span of their lifetime at
work
.
Hence
, some come to believe that the workplace might be an ideal arena to socialize and make friends for
life
. On the other, that
also
 causes some drawbacks like a stressful ambience at
work
 and flat, or the lack of concentration
while
 working. Here we are to elaborate on both
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of
such
 unifying.
One
 does have a longer time at
work
 to get to know their colleagues and make stronger ties for
life
, compared to the ones who just get acquainted in a shorter
while
,
such
 as the street or a coffee shop, and pass time with each other in a more limited period.
As a result
, the bilateral relations between apartments and
work
 could potentially help to make stronger bonds.
In addition
 to that, when
one
 knows their colleague as a friend, or the other way around, their buddy as a co-worker, he or she most probably goes out of their way to help their partners more intensely.
However
, the cons are not a few. Distraction from job affairs is
one
 prominent consequence of sharing
life
 and
work
 partners. That does not seem idealistic to carry house issues into the workplace or vice-versa.
That is
 why it is illegal to romance
one
's job acquaintances in many organizations.
For instance
, it is banned in the USA universities to date your pupils if you are an instructor in the same college.
Furthermore
, finding social ties in
one
's career is bound to make both building and occupation more stressful. When
one
 is free to go home it is better to leave job issues unacknowledged and enjoy the family
life
 independently.
Last
 but not least, variety per se breeds joy. The wider range of ties, the more practical yet joyful living. If
one
 spreads his social contacts over a large spectrum of having all walks of
life
 into their
life
, it is possible to have a wider range of help when he/she comes to it. It is good to have friends everywhere, not only at
work
. All in all, the disadvantages of merging
work
-
life
 connections seem to outweigh the advantages. When
one
 wishes for a less stressful
life
besides
 having a vaster continuum of friendship, it is better to make some distances between these two diametrically opposed areas.
Submitted by f.farkhany71 on

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task response
Your essay lacks a clear stance on the topic. Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good organization and coherence, but there are some instances of unclear or awkward phrasing. Pay attention to the fluency of your language and use appropriate linking words to improve cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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