IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show information about a coal mine before and after redevelopment as a visitor attraction.

The maps given illustrate how the old coal mine was turned into an attraction for visitors. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that there were noticeable changes that took place during the innovation of the coal mine, removing some working areas
while
Linking Words
 adding more options for recreational activities. The most obvious can be observed in the centre of the diagrams, with waste tips one and two being redeveloped into a digging track and picnic area, respectively. The adjacent director board and car parking were destroyed to make way for a new cafe and a lottery park, respectively. After the redevelopment, they added a playground for children at the bottom right corner of the coal mine. At the top right corner, the office and staff changing room had been merged into a museum
while
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 the nearby parking area was retained. The entrance underground, which was once used by workers, was refurbished to serve tourists.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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