IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #railways #trams
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There are plenty of views about whether the money should be spent on improving roads and motorways,
although
 others believe that spending on public
transport
 systems is more necessary for individuals’ living conditions.
This
 writer disagrees with the statement because it decreases pollutants and boosts
traffic
 systems. Beginning with the primary purpose of investment in public
transport
, it can be illustrated that mass transit is one of the most effective solutions to solve environmental problems. Obviously, the local government encourages citizens to use communal
transport
, which can decrease waste from transportation,
such
 as greenhouse gases, and improve environmental issues.
For example
, in many high-industrial development countries, their local inhabitants mostly travel to work by using public
vehicles
 like buses, so there are few
vehicles
 on their roads with no exception rush hours so they can reduce the pollutants in the environment.
Moreover
, it can be simply recognized that the encouragement of using public
transport
 can enhance
traffic
 problems.
Nevertheless
, using public conveyance can reduce the enormous number of
vehicles
 on the roads, so
traffic
 jams can be avoided more regularly.
Furthermore
, employees can be punctually on time for their work
due to
 the smooth flow of
traffic
 without waiting for
traffic
 jams.
As a result
, the investment in public
transport
 can enhance
traffic
 issues, leading to an improvement in employee productivity. In conclusion, investment in public
transport
 can reduce the waste from
vehicles
.
Moreover
, improvements in
traffic
 issues can enhance citizens' productivity.
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task response
Your essay clearly responds to the task and includes relevant points and examples. To improve further, you could include more varied examples and develop your argument in greater detail.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are presented in a logical structure, and you have a clear introduction and conclusion. However, try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task response
Your main points are supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
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