IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Science and technical experts seem to be more valued by society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#science #experts #society #musicians #artists
In
this
 burgeoning world,
experts
 are respected and be a model that
people
 are willing to follow
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 every industry.It is universally acknowledged that science and technical
experts
 are more valuable than musicians and artists.I agree with
this
 view
although
 artists have some significant impacts on society. The main reason is that technology is linked with all dimensions of
life
 today.
People
 seriously
denpend
Correct your spelling
depend
depends
 on inventions that
created
Add a missing verb
are created
show examples
 by technical
experts
 in daily
life
.To be specific,individuals always use
cell
Add an article
a cell
the cell
show examples
 phone to communicate with others,
work
 require the internet to attend online meetings and electric cars for
trip
Add an article
the trip
show examples
. In
this
 case,with the development of technical inventions,
people
 would gain
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life
 standard.
Therefore
,
scienece
Correct your spelling
science
 interferes with every single
taks
Correct your spelling
tasks
task
people
 perform and gain attention as it facilities
life
.
Actuallt
Correct your spelling
Actually
 it is demonstrated in the real wore,
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 wealthiest person,Elon Musk,the owner and inventor of X-Space and Tesla,two
conpanies
Correct your spelling
companies
 that have created a new pathway for technical innovation.
On the other hand
,
art
 gains
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
.It is no doubt that
art
 is one of the most acceptable
tool
Change to a plural noun
tools
show examples
 for individuals to escape from the chaotic
life
.Simultaneously,artists’
work
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 able to enrich their local culture.
For instance
,Riverside Scene at Qingming Festival in China is the best
recordings
Fix the agreement mistake
recording
show examples
 for
people
 to learn from Chinese traditional culture at ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.Their
work
also
 makes cities more interesting and attractive.Thereby
art
 projects are likely to help to
attracte
Correct your spelling
attract
 more tourists.
Nevertheless
,the
developemnt
Correct your spelling
development
 of
art
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
work
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on the internet which is a production invented by technical
experts
Fix the agreement mistake
expert
show examples
,Bill Gates.
To conclude
,
although
art
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
effcient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 tool for
people
 to immerse themself,
people
 are compelled to promote
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 inventions
due to
significance
Correct pronoun usage
their significance
show examples
 and benefits.
Submitted by 2623141119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: