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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
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It is considered by some that taking
risks
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 is imperative in both personal and professional facets. From my standpoint,
although
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 there are merits to accepting
risks
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, I advocate that a lot of drawbacks may happen alongside outweigh the positive sides.
To begin
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 with the advantages, some contend that
people
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 who take
risks
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 could be one step ahead of others as they will be more experienced in many aspects. Through all that they have already passed by taking
risks
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, individuals could be more mature in their personal
lives
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.
Moreover
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, not only as a person, but those are
also
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 more professional in their career
lives
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, conquering all problems by possessing
risks
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.
For example
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, as a development manager, taking the challenge to do market expansion is necessary to increase the revenue rate. If the headquarters do not do that action, the company will stuck and unable to acquire any enhancements.
However
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, taking
risks
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 not only brings some good development but
also
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 various detrimental effects on everybody's
lives
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can be affected psychologically by taking a risky challenge as
although
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 they have mentally prepared for the worst possibility, a failure can lead to disappointment. When
people
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 cannot overcome that situation, the persons may feel bad for their
lives
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 and lose their confidence.
Secondly
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, those who are taking
risks
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 in their work and achieving bad results may be scolded and fired from their positions since their co-workers cannot believe them professionally. Another point is
people
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 who are likely to take a risk will receive a bad label from society, which can immensely affect personal
as well as
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 professional
lives
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. The community will reckon those
people
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 as troublemakers who could not do any successful actions in their
lives
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, resulting in a bad personality and scarcity of a job opportunity. In conclusion, despite the many benefits that could be gained from taking
risks
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, more repercussions outweigh its benefits, including mental damage, career loss and negative assumptions from societies.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that states your position and effectively summarizes the main points. Your essay somewhat lacks a strong introductory statement and a conclusive ending that reinforces your arguments.
logical structure
Organize your ideas logically and make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with supporting details. Use transitional phrases to help the reader follow your reasoning.
relevant specific examples
While you have included examples to illustrate your points, make these examples more specific and relevant to the argument at hand. Avoid being too general.
complete response
Your response must fully satisfy the requirements of the task, providing a balanced view of the argument where both sides are considered. Include all parts of the prompt in your discussion and ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas thoroughly and clearly, ensuring that your viewpoint is coherent and easy to understand. Use paragraphs to structure your essay and make sure your ideas are comprehensive and convey a logical argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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