Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Stress
is now the subject of increasing concern in many nations worldwide. There are a wide range of reasons for
this
problem and
this
essay will elaborate on the two major causes and how to combat them. To commence with,
stress
can
root
Wrong verb form
be rooted
show examples
in a heavy workload at the workplace. In a real sense,
people
tend to devote half a day to sitting in front of computers at their offices.
As a result
, a 24-hour day is not sufficient for them to spend with their family or on their hobbies.
Furthermore
, discrimination and harassment are now deteriorating,
thus
, resulting in
stress
. There is no doubt that numerous
people
, particularly the young, are the victims of social evils
such
as body shaming, word violence, or gender discrimination. These issues have a detrimental effect on
people
's mental well-being,
for example
, some celebrities
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to end their life because of facing up to criticism from the public. Dealing with these factors is an uphill struggle so both organizations and authorities should take concrete actions to resolve them. One effective solution is to focus on enhancing job satisfaction among the workforce. To be more specific, companies should establish standards with a view to providing their employees with healthy working environment. To illustrate, Unilever, a big retail company, is deemed to be a worthy working place by their employees
due to
their work-life balance policy.
In addition
, the government should expose related laws to prevent
people
from using inappropriate words. A good example is the internet security law that Vietnamese policymakers are about to publish to punish those with negative behaviours on the Internet that
inflict
Verb problem
affect
show examples
others' reputations.
To conclude
,
stress
results from mainly work and others' criticism.
Therefore
, there is a need to plough ahead with measures to help
people
be satisfied with their work
as well as
control the negative and impulsive thoughts of individuals.
Submitted by phamthihongnhunght on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with appropriate supporting details. Some points were slightly underdeveloped.
grammatical range
Be cautious with overly complex sentences that might lead to errors or clarity issues. Aim for a variety of sentence structures.
lexical resource
Expand your lexical resource by incorporating a greater variety of vocabulary and synonyms to prevent repetition.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment
  • financial instability
  • social safety nets
  • constant connectivity
  • work-life balance
  • remote work
  • social isolation
  • community support
  • chronic illnesses
  • affordable healthcare
  • public health campaigns
  • mental well-being
  • high-stakes testing
  • holistic education
  • flexible working hours
What to do next:
Look at other essays: