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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #absence
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Nowadays people live in a very competitive world and the rhythms of modern
life
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 dictate their own rules. As
work
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-
life
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 boundaries become more and more blurred, negative changes emerge, impacting not only lifestyle as a whole but
in particular
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 parent-child relationships.
However
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, the global financial crisis has been pushing people to look for extra
work
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 to maintain their family's financial stability. It is not a secret that the structure of a modern family is not the same as it was a century ago. The societal status of
women
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 has changed. In the past,
women
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 used to occupy a rather low position in the family with no rights or freedom. For centuries raising
children
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 has been thought of as “
women
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’s
work
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”,
women
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 took full responsibility for childbirth, childcare and domestic
work
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. The situation has changed after the rise of the
women
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’s empowerment movement.
Thus
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, the economic independence of
women
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 became the main feature of the modern family. Nowadays both
parents
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 leave the home for
work
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 to build their careers. But it does not change the fact that
children
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 need
parents
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 to be involved in their lives, they need care and love.
Parent’s
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Parents’
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 employment and lack of communication with their
children
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 have a detrimental impact on
children
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’s
life
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. Self-discipline and emotional development are stunned without parental guidance and involvement because
parents
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 act as role models for their
children
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. Without parental control, their child may eventually join peer groups with low moral and social standards (to seek those role models
elsewhere
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).
However
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,
parents
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 are driven not only by careerism or personal ambition. The desire to earn more money to make their child’s
life
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 less challenging makes
parents
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work
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 harder.
This
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 enables them to provide better education, and better health care services to their child. Modern
children
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 have everything they want,
such
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 as different clubs and sports sections. Working
parents
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 could provide
children
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 with expensive toys, clothes, trips, and gadgets.
Moreover
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, when both
parents
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 are enough busy at
work
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, the risk of development of an overprotection syndrome is much lower, and a child grows up to become an independent and mature person. In conclusion, I would like to say that it is hard to keep a traditional family structure nowadays.
Life
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 is changing and it is very important to maintain a healthy
life
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-
work
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 balance. Working
parents
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 have fewer opportunities to look after their
children
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, but they need to meet their
children
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's mental and emotional needs. At the same time, it’s essential to earn enough money to provide financial resources for the future of the family's younger generation.
Submitted by nikolettliny on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income household
  • financial stability
  • extracurricular activities
  • role models
  • self-reliance
  • independent
  • emotional well-being
  • work-life balance
  • neglected
  • quality time
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