In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

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In recent years, education has
attacted
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attracted
the general public's attention.
While
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some
people
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claim that there are many advantages gained from the
trend
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that in some countries youngsters are encouraged to
work
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or
travel
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for a
year
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between finishing high
school
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and starting
university
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studies, there are
also
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many
people
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who believe that its disadvantages should not be ignored. After a thorough consideration, for my
part
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,part
show examples
its
cons
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could never overshadow its pros.
This
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essay will give both benefits and drawbacks of the
trend
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. On the
one
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hand, there are some advantages gained from the
trend
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that in some countries young
people
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are encouraged to
work
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or
travel
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for a
year
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between finishing high
school
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and starting
university
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studies.
Firstly
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,
these day
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this day
these days
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some young
people
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Change the verb form
decide
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decides
Add the particle
todecides
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find
any
Correct determiner usage
a
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job for
work
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after they finish the
highschool
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high school
show examples
because when they are working they will save money before they go to
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
university
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, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
cons
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that
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parents must not worry a lot about fees for study in the future for their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Secondly
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, now some young
people
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choose go to
travel
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after finishing high
school
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before
go
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going
show examples
to starting
university
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, some youngest think that they will not have free
time
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to
travel
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when they
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
continue
Fix the infinitive
to continue
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to study so they
want
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won't
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spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
time
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to
travel
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for relax or they want to expand their knowledge.
On the other hand
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,
however
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,
besides
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important
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
advantages of
this
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trend
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, its disadvantage should not be ignored.
One
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disadvantage is that the young
people
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choose
work
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or
travel
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instead
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continue
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
university
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it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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will affect to study
time
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, they will be late
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one
Change preposition
for one
show examples
year
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,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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can learn a lot
Change preposition
of subject
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
or
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
at
school
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
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time
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. On top that
On top
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
that
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
when they
comeback
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
to
school
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after
one
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year
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
find
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
or visit anywhere they will be bored and some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not want to
comeback
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will make the quality not high. In short, from what has been discussed above, there are both benefits and drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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this
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trend
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. Its
cons
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should be taken into account.
Aslo
Correct your spelling
Also
people
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should take advantage of the pros and minimize the
cons
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of
this
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trend
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by buithuongkt on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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