In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

In recent years, education has
attacted
Correct your spelling
attracted
the general public's attention.
While
some
people
claim that there are many advantages gained from the
trend
that in some countries youngsters are encouraged to
work
or
travel
for a
year
between finishing high
school
and starting
university
studies, there are
also
many
people
who believe that its disadvantages should not be ignored. After a thorough consideration, for my
part
Add a comma
,part
show examples
its
cons
could never overshadow its pros.
This
essay will give both benefits and drawbacks of the
trend
. On the
one
hand, there are some advantages gained from the
trend
that in some countries young
people
are encouraged to
work
or
travel
for a
year
between finishing high
school
and starting
university
studies.
Firstly
,
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
some young
people
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
decides
Add the particle
todecides
show examples
find
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
job for
work
after they finish the
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
because when they are working they will save money before they go to
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
university
, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
cons
that
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parents must not worry a lot about fees for study in the future for their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Secondly
, now some young
people
choose go to
travel
after finishing high
school
before
go
Change the form of the verb
going
show examples
to starting
university
, some youngest think that they will not have free
time
to
travel
when they
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
continue
Fix the infinitive
to continue
show examples
to study so they
want
Correct your spelling
won't
show examples
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
time
to
travel
for relax or they want to expand their knowledge.
On the other hand
,
however
,
besides
important
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
advantages of
this
trend
, its disadvantage should not be ignored.
One
disadvantage is that the young
people
choose
work
or
travel
instead
continue
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
university
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will affect to study
time
, they will be late
one
Change preposition
for one
show examples
year
,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
can learn a lot
Change preposition
of subject
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
or
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
at
school
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
time
. On top that
On top
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
when they
comeback
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
to
school
after
one
year
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
find
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
or visit anywhere they will be bored and some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not want to
comeback
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will make the quality not high. In short, from what has been discussed above, there are both benefits and drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
trend
. Its
cons
should be taken into account.
Aslo
Correct your spelling
Also
people
should take advantage of the pros and minimize the
cons
of
this
trend
.
Submitted by buithuongkt on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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