Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

Some argue that governments have to concentrate more on controlling pollution and housing issues for

disease

prevention.

Although

these are useful solutions, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that individuals should

also

contribute to solving

this

problem. On the one hand,

people

need authorities to make regulations and policies to address unhealthy surrounding issues that could endanger the health or possibly the lives of citizens, including poor ventilation or a lack of sunlight caused by bad housing,

also

air pollution from trash incineration and vehicle emissions.

For instance

, by creating jobs in less crowded areas to minimize urban populations and increasing green space to lower air pollution.

As a result

, it can reduce the number of

people

suffering from illnesses

such

as asthma, cancer,

diarrhea

Change the spelling

diarrhoea

show examples

and many more that are caused by a bad environment.

On the other hand

in addition

to government initiatives, I think that

people

also

ought to take action to prevent

disease

by striving for a healthy body, because it will not be effective to rely just on governments to prevent illness.

Firstly

people

have to prioritize proper and balanced nutrition by consuming healthy food and avoiding junk food that can lead to chronic

disease

Secondly

, society must engage in physical exercise that supports body immunity and protect mental health to lessen stress, which can

also

lead to a number of illnesses. In conclusion, despite the fact that governments

facilitating

Wrong verb form

facilitate

show examples

a city to create a healthy environment, which is a helpful solution, society

also

has to act to combat

disease

. I would hope that

people

can stand together to resolve

this

issue.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Jun 04 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, there is not enough recycling of waste materials(eg,paper, glass, can). What are the reasons and solutions?

**In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.** **What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** **What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

In some countries, the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do yhou think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think govt should be responsible. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

The performance of staff can have significant impact on the success of a company What can companies do to increase staff productivity?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?