In some countries, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes, but education and healthcare are free. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays, in most
countries
, one of the references provided in the budget is
tax
collection from the
people
. In
such
an atmosphere, the policymakers make a decision that education and treatment are exempt from
tax
. In
this
essay, I want to investigate the good and bad effects of
this
decision on society and
then
I will state that
tax
should not be collected from groups of
people
. At present, in development and industrial
countries
taxing
people
plays a key role in the economy.The income from the
tax
is spent on the development and increasing social welfare of the
country
for instance
, governments manage public transportation,medical services,educational services and civil and environmental projects by paying taxes to the
people
. One of the benefits is that the
people
of a
country
by paying taxes participate in its administration. In
this
moment, I will express the disadvantages of taxing the
people
. In some
countries
, The
people
are taxed very heavily,so,the economic conditions are difficult and there is no possibility of progress. The leaders of these
countries
often manage the
country
with communist laws.
On the other hand
, in developed
countries
to encourage society to study and progress in scientific fields and easy use of medical services for the general public, education plus treatment are exempt from paying taxes
also
this
decision causes that increase in the quantity of therapeutic research which
this
issue the plenty of help to improving the level of health in the
country
. In conclusion, the advantages of taxing the
people
are more than the disadvantages,
therefore
, in a society all jobs should be taxed,except for jobs related to  education and treatment. in sum,in order to have a strong economy in a
country
,
tax
laws must be followed properly
Submitted by omranz2013 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs attention. The arguments are presented in a somewhat confusing manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the other.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not effective in setting up the topic and summarizing the main points, respectively. An effective introduction should provide a clear background and state the main argument or response to the question. A strong conclusion should neatly tie the points made back to the topic question.
coherence cohesion
To improve supported main points, make sure that each point you raise is backed up by specific evidence or examples. Avoid general statements and instead use detailed sentences to demonstrate the point clearly. This will make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Your response addresses the topic, but it does not completely fulfill the task. The essay should have a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages, followed by a clear personal opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ensure you answer all parts of the question.
task achievement
While some ideas are clear, there is a need for more comprehensive development of the ideas. Expand on your main points by explaining how and why they are relevant to the topic. This will add depth to your essay and better address the task.
task achievement
When giving examples, using specific and relevant details is crucial. This essay lacks concrete examples that are directly related to the topic. Include examples from real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios to support your arguments and give them more weight.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equitable access
  • Public health
  • Literacy rates
  • Social inequalities
  • Government accountability
  • Standard of living
  • Financial burden
  • Taxpayers
  • Government inefficiency
  • Quality of services
  • Competition
  • Personal responsibility
  • Self-reliance
  • Overreliance
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