In some countries, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes, but education and healthcare are free. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

#countries #citizens #money #taxes #education #healthcare #situation

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Nowadays, in most

countries

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, one of the references provided in the budget is

tax

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collection from the

people

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. In

such

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an atmosphere, the policymakers make a decision that education and treatment are exempt from

tax

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. In

this

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essay, I want to investigate the good and bad effects of

this

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decision on society and

then

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I will state that

tax

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should not be collected from groups of

people

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. At present, in development and industrial

countries

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taxing

people

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plays a key role in the economy.The income from the

tax

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is spent on the development and increasing social welfare of the

country

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for instance

Linking Words

, governments manage public transportation,medical services,educational services and civil and environmental projects by paying taxes to the

people

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. One of the benefits is that the

people

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of a

country

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by paying taxes participate in its administration. In

this

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moment, I will express the disadvantages of taxing the

people

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. In some

countries

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, The

people

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are taxed very heavily,so,the economic conditions are difficult and there is no possibility of progress. The leaders of these

countries

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often manage the

country

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with communist laws.

On the other hand

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, in developed

countries

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to encourage society to study and progress in scientific fields and easy use of medical services for the general public, education plus treatment are exempt from paying taxes

also

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this

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decision causes that increase in the quantity of therapeutic research which

this

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issue the plenty of help to improving the level of health in the

country

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. In conclusion, the advantages of taxing the

people

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are more than the disadvantages,

therefore

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, in a society all jobs should be taxed,except for jobs related to education and treatment. in sum,in order to have a strong economy in a

country

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tax

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laws must be followed properly

Submitted by omranz2013 on Tue Jan 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs attention. The arguments are presented in a somewhat confusing manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the other.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not effective in setting up the topic and summarizing the main points, respectively. An effective introduction should provide a clear background and state the main argument or response to the question. A strong conclusion should neatly tie the points made back to the topic question.

coherence cohesion

To improve supported main points, make sure that each point you raise is backed up by specific evidence or examples. Avoid general statements and instead use detailed sentences to demonstrate the point clearly. This will make your argument more convincing.

task achievement

Your response addresses the topic, but it does not completely fulfill the task. The essay should have a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages, followed by a clear personal opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ensure you answer all parts of the question.

task achievement

While some ideas are clear, there is a need for more comprehensive development of the ideas. Expand on your main points by explaining how and why they are relevant to the topic. This will add depth to your essay and better address the task.

task achievement

When giving examples, using specific and relevant details is crucial. This essay lacks concrete examples that are directly related to the topic. Include examples from real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios to support your arguments and give them more weight.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Equitable access
Public health
Literacy rates
Social inequalities
Government accountability
Standard of living
Financial burden
Taxpayers
Government inefficiency
Quality of services
Competition
Personal responsibility
Self-reliance
Overreliance

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