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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
The line chart illustrates the
rate
 of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 65 and over in the
USA
,
Sweden
 and
Japan
 from the past to future
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 between 1940 to 2040.
Overall
, the elder people in the
USA
 and
Sweden
 are more than
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
show examples
 in the majority of
timeframe
Correct article usage
the timeframe
show examples
. The percentage of the aged 65 and over in the
USA
 is
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 top of the three but
replaced
Add a missing verb
is replaced
show examples
 by
Sweden
 and
Japan
 in the middle and the end of the statistic.
Furthermore
, the most significant difference in the period given
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
Japan
 in the 2020s.
Initially
, the
rate
 of elder in the
USA
 is stand at approximately 9.5% in 1940 compared to 7.5% and 5% in
Sweden
 and
Japan
 respectively. In
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
, there was
a compelling evidence
Remove the article
compelling evidence
a piece of compelling evidence
a shred of compelling evidence
show examples
 at around 14.5%, displaying
Sweden
 surpassed the
USA
 elder
rate
. By following
50-year
Correct article usage
the 50-year
show examples
 period,
Sweden
 has a
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 increase and
predicted
Add a missing verb
is predicted
show examples
 to
25
Add a missing verb
be 25
show examples
% in 2040,
by contrast
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 will
comes
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 to about 22.5%. In terms of
Japan
, old people in
Japan
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in the initial 20 years,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 remaining the level
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 4% until
1980s
Change the article
the 1980s
show examples
. Before
2030s
Change the article
the 2030s
show examples
, the elder
rate
 in
Japan
is grow
Change the verb form
is growing
show examples
 steadily to 10%.
However
, the statistic predicts that there will be a dramatical increase in the
last
 10 years, which reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
27%, making
Japan
 become the most elder inhabitants country.
Submitted by miriam3388 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, usa, sweden, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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