Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

Some

people

argued that more

sports

facilities

in the community would be a better way to improve public

health

, whilst others believed that it will

be result

Change the verb form

result

show examples

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

effect on

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health

. In my opinion, I agree building more

sports

facilities

is not

Correct article usage

the

show examples

only solution for that and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

factors need to be

taking

Wrong verb form

taken

show examples

into account. There are some benefits of providing more

sports

facilities

in order to keep

people

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

Firstly

, building more

facilities

means it is easy for the members of the public to find a place for playing

sports

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

nearby their residents or working places, and it will increase incentives for them to do

sports

regularly in order to stay healthy.

Secondly

sports

facilities

are a good venue for promoting

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games for the public.

For example

, the Government can organise

sports

games annually and it is another way to get the public

for

Change preposition

show examples

participation

Replace the word

participate

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

sports

Furthermore

, since

sports

facilities

are designed

Change preposition

for

show examples

playing

sports

and these would be built by international rules, it provides more safe

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

and training spaces for

people

. Apart from

Correct article usage

the

show examples

addition of more

sports

facilities

, I believe there are many ways to get

people

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

healthy.

First,

balance

Correct article usage

a balance

show examples

diet would be one of the reasons to improve public

health

. If someone is

meat-eater

Correct article usage

a meat-eater

show examples

and

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not have a

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

diet, I do not think that

people

will

be maintain

Change the verb form

maintain

show examples

healthy

for

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long run.

Besides

, the public should do exercise regularly, and become a good habit for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

life.

Finally

, the Government should introduce a body check-up to the public in order to assess their

health

condition and provide

health

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

for them. Since some

people

think that increasing more

sports

facilities

is the best way for

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health

, I believe there are other measures to deal with it.

Submitted by albedosnow on Sun Jun 04 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

What to do next:

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

Last year you attended a presentation skill course at the Sydney College of Australia. Your new employer has asked you to provide copies of your reports and assignments as quickly as possible. Write to the director of the school and request these documents.

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce cost ad better for the environment. Others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?