Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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argued that more
sports
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facilities
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in the community would be a better way to improve public
health
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, whilst others believed that it will
be result
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result
show examples
in
small
Add an article
a small
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effect on
Use synonyms
people
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people's
show examples
health
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. In my opinion, I agree building more
sports
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facilities
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is not
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
only solution for that and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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factors need to be
taking
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
into account. There are some benefits of providing more
sports
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facilities
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in order to keep
people
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Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, building more
facilities
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means it is easy for the members of the public to find a place for playing
sports
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nearby their residents or working places, and it will increase incentives for them to do
sports
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regularly in order to stay healthy.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
sports
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facilities
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are a good venue for promoting
sport
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sports
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games for the public.
For example
Linking Words
, the Government can organise
sports
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games annually and it is another way to get the public
for
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to
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participation
Replace the word
participate
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on
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in
show examples
sports
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, since
sports
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facilities
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are designed
by
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for
show examples
playing
sports
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and these would be built by international rules, it provides more safe
place
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places
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and training spaces for
people
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. Apart from
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
addition of more
sports
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facilities
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, I believe there are many ways to get
people
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
healthy.
First,
Linking Words
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
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diet would be one of the reasons to improve public
health
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. If someone is
meat-eater
Correct article usage
a meat-eater
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and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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not have a
balance
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balanced
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diet, I do not think that
people
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will
be maintain
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maintain
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healthy
for
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in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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long run.
Besides
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, the public should do exercise regularly, and become a good habit for
a
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apply
show examples
life.
Finally
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, the Government should introduce a body check-up to the public in order to assess their
health
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condition and provide
health
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advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
for them. Since some
people
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think that increasing more
sports
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facilities
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is the best way for
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
, I believe there are other measures to deal with it.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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