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Band 6.5

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems?

#people #gap #situation #measures #address
Nowadays, the gap between the rich and the poor become bigger,
although
Correct word choice
and although
show examples
 there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of
this
 trend, solutions can be taken to mitigate these potential
problems
. There are a number of
problems
 related to
this
 trend. The main issue is the rate of crime will increase significantly.
This
 is because, when the poor become poorer, they will not be able to meet their basic need
such
 as food, shelter, and food.
While
, the rich have too many benefits,
such
 as using luxury items or expensive hobbies. The poor may feel inequality and they reluctantly become criminals to take the rich's money which can help to make a living.
Secondly
, the rate of economic growth will decrease.
It is clear that
 the poor may not have an opportunity to access education as much as the rich,
therefore
 a large number of the population cannot participate in the workforce which requires employees to have knowledge and skills.
As a result
,
this
 will reduce the
overall
 level of economic growth of a nation.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are several actions that could be taken to solve the
problems
 mentioned above.
Firstly
, the government should provide the poor with an opportunity access to education and training with low tuition fees.
This
 can encourage them to gain knowledge and skills which can help them succeed in the workforce and increase their earning potential.
This
 can help to reduce income inequality over time.
Secondly
, the government should provide program poverty reduction program by providing social housing, and food assistance for the poor.
This
 can reduce the gap between the rich and the poor. In conclusion,
although
 the wide gap between rich and poor people would have negative consequences, various measures can be implemented to tackle these
problems
.
Submitted by hugoductam on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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