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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals claim that acquiring
history
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 is one of the most important
school
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 courses,
while
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 others believe that science and
technology
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 are more significant in today's society. We cannot compare those subjects, because both are crucial for our society and future and have the same value
of
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as
show examples
school
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 programs.
To begin
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 with,
history
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 has been a contributing factor in understanding social
development
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.
In other words
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,
history
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 provides
students
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 with a context for understanding how societies have evolved over time. It explains the
development
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 of political systems, cultures, and economies assisting
students
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 in comprehending the complexities of the modern world.
This
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 understanding fosters respect and tolerance for different traditions and perspectives.
As a result
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,
history
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 is a fundamental subject in
school
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 because it equips
students
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 with the knowledge, skills, and perspectives necessary for personal
development
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 and active participation in society.
On the other hand
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, another group of people argue that science and
technology
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 are crucial subjects in
school
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 compared with
history
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 for numerous reasons. First and foremost, these subjects play a vital role in individual
development
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 and provide a fundamental understanding.
For example
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, scientific inquiry involves observation, experimentation, and analysis, which develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
Secondly
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,
technology
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 is integral to daily life, from smartphones and computers to medical devices and transportation systems.
consequently
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,
this
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 skill lead to enables
students
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 to use, understand, and adapt to these tools effectively.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing because
history
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, science, and
technology
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 are equally valuable
as
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apply
show examples
a subject in
school
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. In conclusion, these skills are complementary and to the same extent, and they foster critical thinking, innovation, and adaptability, preparing
students
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 for future careers and societal challenges.

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of both perspectives. However, providing more specific examples to support your points could further enhance your argument and show practical applications of both sides.
task achievement
Your main points are well-developed and relevant to the topic. However, a bit more depth and specific examples could strengthen your essay.
supported main points
Try to ensure that every idea is fully elaborated with evidence or examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay more comprehensive.
logical structure
Your essay has a very clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a coherent transition from one idea to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective. Your conclusion nicely encapsulates the main points discussed in the body of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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