IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

As technology develops, more shopping and business is done through the internet while communication face to face becomes less frequently. Is this a positive or negative development?

#technology #business #internet #communication #face #development
For decades, utilizing technology is being expanded in the way people trade all around the world. Fewer and fewer customers prefer brick-and-mortar stores because of online shopping. I believe
this
 is a negative progress. In
this
 essay, I will explain my view with relevant examples.
Initially
, the majority of people ponder that electronic shopping can decrease communication
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 buyers and sellers. It means they lose the chance of making eye contact with each other and interact energy owing to produce respect for each other. The result of a survey in Sweden explored that the trading disagreement rate was low in the nineties because of real contacts.
As a result
, mature citizens hardly shop online in comparison with teenagers, and
hence
, choose to have friendly conversations with businessmen.
On the other hand
, thanks to the development of technology open up convenience doors in marketing since folks do not have to spend several hours buying clothes or food ingredients which was a common method in the past. As proven by statistics, half of the marketing is done online which lays the foundation to save your time for other daily activities
as well as
 access to enormous diverse goods.
As a consequence
, more and more customers purchase their favourite items electronically, and
hence
, enjoy shopping when they are at home. In conclusion,
although
 technology gives a helping hand to make human life easy, it has negative impacts on human communication as most teenagers do not know how to start a real conversation. Personally, in my opinion, online shopping deletes the chance of bargaining.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: