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Writing Samples
Band 8

To day, many people use the internet and smartphones to trasnfer money to friends, family, and business. Is this a positive or negative development ?

#people #internet #smartphones #trasnfer #money #friends #business #development
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Nowadays, the internet and Smartphones are being used by a lot of humankind to transfer funds to colleagues, family or businesses.
Although
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 I believe that
this
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 development has a great benefit for our society, it might have some disadvantages, but it can be avoided. At the outset, when cash is being transferred through applications on smartphones, a potential danger might happen, as
this
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 wealth could be stolen.
For example
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, each application online has a specific username and password, so if the smartphone does not have strong security systems, hackers will attack it easily and steal all personal banking information concerning the owner of the phone.
Consequently
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, the fund in that account can be taken easily.
Hence
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, the phone must be checked to ensure safety for money transfers.
On the other hand
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, using smartphone applications for fund transfers to anybody for any purpose has great benefits. Like, it saves lots of time, as; the process of payment transfers can be done anywhere but before, everybody must go to the bank and fill out certain forms to convey money to any other account.
In addition
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 to that, if anyone has a credit visa and he is using it to buy things, he can transfer money back to the visa via the application on his phone, so he can avoid any penalty would receive. So, these operations are very useful, but everybody should know how to use them properly to avoid the occurrence of any risk. In conclusion,
however
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, I appreciate the use of these applications, because; in recent days, it has a significant role in our community which cannot be neglected, each body must be careful
while
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 using them.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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