IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart illustrates the number of years at school of two sex in Singaporean, whereas the pie chart depicts the educational levels between 2000 to 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the number of years at school of two sex in Singaporean, whereas the pie chart depicts the educational levels between 2000 to 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the number of
years
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 of two sex in
Singaporean
Fix the agreement mistake
Singaporeans
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 depicts the educational levels between 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is noticeable that educational standards grew significantly after a decade in both male and female people.
Besides
Linking Words
, university qualification is
also
Linking Words
 being focused
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
 promoted in social education. Concerning the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, there was an upward trend of male adults spending time at
school
Use synonyms
 higher than female adults. Starting at nearly 9 million, after a decade,
this
Linking Words
 figure is much higher than initial, approximately just under 12 million.
However
Linking Words
, the number of females attending class had a downward trend in the first 4
years
Use synonyms
 and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tended to increase in the following
years
Use synonyms
 from 8 to 9 million people
due to
Linking Words
 the change in
Singapore
Change noun form
Singapore's
show examples
 education policy. Turning to the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, it can be seen clearly that only masters and university had a growth rate among other fields. University showed
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
remarkable growth from 8,3% to 32,93% within 10
years
Use synonyms
 of innovation. Following that, more than 30,31% of the educational attainment was from the master qualification sector (starting at 7,5%). The primary
school
Use synonyms
 ,secondary
school
Use synonyms
 and
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 account for 2,1%, 15,2% and 19,55% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, years, school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: