The bar chart illustrates the number of years at school of two sex in Singaporean, whereas the pie chart depicts the educational levels between 2000 to 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the number of years at school of two sex in Singaporean, whereas the pie chart depicts the educational levels between 2000 to 2010.
The bar
chart
illustrates the number of
years
at
school
of two sex in
Singaporean
Fix the agreement mistake
Singaporeans
show examples
,
whereas
the pie
chart
depicts the educational levels between 2000 to 2010.
Overall
, It is noticeable that educational standards grew significantly after a decade in both male and female people.
Besides
, university qualification is
also
being focused
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
promoted in social education. Concerning the bar
chart
, there was an upward trend of male adults spending time at
school
higher than female adults. Starting at nearly 9 million, after a decade,
this
figure is much higher than initial, approximately just under 12 million.
However
, the number of females attending class had a downward trend in the first 4
years
and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tended to increase in the following
years
from 8 to 9 million people
due to
the change in
Singapore
Change noun form
Singapore's
show examples
education policy. Turning to the pie
chart
, it can be seen clearly that only masters and university had a growth rate among other fields. University showed
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
remarkable growth from 8,3% to 32,93% within 10
years
of innovation. Following that, more than 30,31% of the educational attainment was from the master qualification sector (starting at 7,5%). The primary
school
,secondary
school
and
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
account for 2,1%, 15,2% and 19,55% respectively.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, years, school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: