Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books still play important roles. Discuss both views.

It has been frequently argued that written textbooks could be replaced by technical advancements in
this
innovative world because it is possible to receive
such
information through e-books.
Whereas
, others and I consider written books to have their own importance that
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
be demolished. In
this
,essay I would like to discuss both perspectives. On the one hand, printed books play an essential role even in
this
era because of abundant reasons. To commence with, paper books are necessary because in rural areas, internet connectivity is not good and old ages do not have enough experience to use electronic devices. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with an example, elder people could not read from cellphones, and if these
would
Verb problem
were
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not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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published anymore, they could not read.
Moreover
, the reading book practically has a soothing impact. In simple words,
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
and young inhabitants love to grab reading material during a nap
along with
a cup of coffee and turn its pages with their fingertips rather than just swipe on the phone.
On the other hand
, e-books have grabbed the attention of many readers with the benefits provided by them.
Initially
, it is an affordable and mobile way for learners to get knowledge.
For example
, purchasing journals or magazines could be quite expensive for some dwellers,
thus
it has been proved that getting an education is not possible with high prices
merely
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apply
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.
Furthermore
, it is possible for everyone to achieve technical or other essential inventions at the earliest rather than after the passage of months or years involved in the printing process. In conclusion,
although
electronic data have
revlountised
Correct your spelling
revised
the criteria to spread knowledge across the globe, they would never be able to eradicate the presence of novels, magazines, fiction, and other materials.
Submitted by jhajjravneet9 on

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coherence cohesion advice
Your essay addresses both perspectives and provides examples to support each view, which is good. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer structure and more focused development of main points.
task achievement advice
Your essay acknowledges both viewpoints and presents a clear argument. To improve your score, make sure to develop each point more fully and provide more specific examples to illustrate your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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