IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend to you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Music
 is
an
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a
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 universal language in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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world
.There is a common sense that
music
 creates a bond between individuals not only from different age groups but
also
 cultures.I strongly hold the view that
music
 has the power to influence
people
 from various
gropus
Correct your spelling
groups
with
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by
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 touching their souls.
To begin
 with,
music
 is the best way to release stress and make
people
 feel at ease. It can reach the deepest souls and
undoubtly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 heal them
with
Change preposition
apply
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regardless of their ages, religions and nations.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-known composers
such
 as
Bethowen
Correct your spelling
Beethoven
has
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have
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 plenty of melodies which
makes
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make
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people
 adore them all around the
world
however
 he was unable to hear his own melodies himself which prove the theory that
music
 is not made for hearing but feeling it.
Secondly
, it is impossible not to
impressed
Add a missing verb
be impressed
show examples
 by the
using
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use
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 of seven notes in
such
 various ways and makes
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 feel it.
However
,in
modernized
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the modernized
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world
music
 types and tastes have changed
al
Correct your spelling
a
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 lot,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 spiritual side remains as it was in
last
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the last
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 decades.
Moreover
,nowadays the genres has altered and each year new
music
 type appear on
music
 platforms which are available
for
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to
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 everyone around the
world
. To illustrate,
few
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a few
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 days ago Travis Scott who is known as a
repper
Correct your spelling
rapper
 released his new rep
music
 on Apple
music
Correct your spelling
Music
show examples
 and it turned
my
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into my
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favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 one in just seconds.
Thus
, when I checked the
feedbacks
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feedback
show examples
 related to
this
 song, it was not
suprising
Correct your spelling
surprising
 that almost half of the
world
 population loved the song as much as me. In conclusion, it is unbelievable that
music
 is created only for making
people
 have fun rather than
encouring
Correct your spelling
encouraging
 them to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 their deep sides. As there is not
pelnty
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of reasons to bring
people
 together
besides
discussion
Add an article
the discussion
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 of universal problems,
music
 is
an
Correct article usage
the
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 only way of making them relax in
contary
Correct your spelling
contrary
.
Submitted by filizsinoplu35 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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