IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

population using internet and the average of spending in internet shopping

#population #internet
The diagram and pie chart shows the number of people who are using
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 and the percentage of money
that is
 used for buying something from there. In general, the data are served based on several countries. Looking into detail, there is a country (Sweden) that become the highest number of
internet
users
 and turns out
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 it almost the same in the online shopping habit.
On the other hand
, there is a country (UK) which is not that high in terms of
internet
users
 but gets the highest place in the percentage of buying ability. Even though they are at a peak in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
users
 (35%), Sweden is still one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place if it turns to average shopping spending (76%). Unlike the UK which reaches 87% of their
internet
users
 who spend money on it to buy something.
Moreover
, in Spain, which had the lowest population going online (5%), 10% of them use it for shopping.
Furthermore
, they are the lowest either in population or the percentage of spending.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: