Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be dome to reverse it?

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Currently, the government is paying more attention to improving social welfare like healthcare for citizens though, the general

health

Use synonyms

condition is not quite

good

Rephrase

as good

show examples

as we assumed. Multiple factors including technology and ignorance result in

this

Linking Words

. After identifying problems, the solution could come to our minds. First of all, advanced technology enables the public to do fewer physical movements to achieve the same goal as before, which is one of the most essential and objective reasons. Elevators ,

for instance

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, are almost everywhere. In the past, we needed to walk and lift our own weight to a higher floor, probably consuming 30 calories per time and it could help activate the lower muscle group.

However

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, it is totally avoidable now. So apparently, not moving is weakening the body and

consequently

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threatening the

health

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On the other hand

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, we should

also

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take into subjective matters account

such

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as ignorance about working out. The busy work hugely occupies their personal time and deducts their passion for exercise. As far as I observed in many developed countries, the younger generation is always on the opposite of being healthy where they prefer making full use of any second of lying down before something serious happens to their physical body which could remind them of the importance of well-being. Actions should be taken immediately to reverse it. From a general perspective, the government could make policies on sport education for teenagers

such

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as some compulsory courses. Once they know the benefits of working out and being healthy, they are pretty persuasive

to get

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in getting

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families involved as well. For those out of school, they need more encouragement and inspiration.

For example

Linking Words

, more

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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experience sessions should be organized for adults like football and rugby, to help the crowd raise a habit in sports so that their

health

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conditions will be gradually freshened. In summary, Rome was not built in one day. Becoming unhealthy isn't an accident but accumulated progress.

Accordingly

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, shifting it to a good direction isn't an easy thing either. It asks for our consistent efforts to make people aware of the importance of physical

health

Use synonyms

wynton2020Tue Jun 06 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear position. Expand on the reasons for declining physical health in developed countries and propose more specific and realistic solutions to reverse the trend.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing the essay more logically. Ensure there are clear topic sentences for each body paragraph, and use cohesive devices to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be dome to reverse it?

Your opinion

Space exploration is too expensive andmoney should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that teenagers are happier than adults, but others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is clear that the invention of the internet has led to dramatic changes in the way information is distributed and accessed. This essay will explore two of the problems which have resulted from these changes and propose measures which might address them.

Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with co-workers while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.