The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the idea of reduce
time
in the working Use synonyms
week
and increase the rest Use synonyms
time
at the Use synonyms
weekend
. I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
viewpoint because I think employees should have more Linking Words
time
to relax and balance between Use synonyms
work
and family.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, there are two reasons why the working Linking Words
week
should be shorter and workers ought to have a longer Use synonyms
weekend
. First of all, the worker may spend more Use synonyms
time
with their families and their personal life. A longer Use synonyms
weekend
allows workers more Use synonyms
time
to rest, pursue hobbies, and spend Use synonyms
time
with family. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, they can balance their life between Linking Words
working
and family. Replace the word
work
Secondly
, the worker's performance may increase because they have enough rest Linking Words
time
and reduce stress. Reduced Use synonyms
work
stress and burnout are significant mental health benefits, as employees have more Use synonyms
time
to recharge and decompress.
Use synonyms
However
, some individuals argue that a shortened Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
week
isn't universally applicable Use synonyms
due to
the challenge of maintaining continuous operation. Certain industries, like healthcare and emergency services, require staff to be available 24/7. In these sectors, a compressed Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
week
could disrupt critical services and potentially compromise patient care or public safety. Use synonyms
For instance
, a hospital with a reduced Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
week
might struggle to maintain adequate staffing levels in vital departments, leading to longer wait times or overworked personnel. Use synonyms
Similarly
, emergency responders might face challenges ensuring consistent coverage across all shifts if their Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
week
is shortened.
In conclusion, many people are worried about the challenge of operation in emergency jobs including the army, security, healthcare, etc. I still agree that workers need to have a longer Use synonyms
weekend
Use synonyms
instead
of Linking Words
the
longer working Correct article usage
a
week
, since when the working Use synonyms
week
is shorter, employees use break Use synonyms
time
at the longer Use synonyms
weekend
in order to reduce stress.Use synonyms
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could be more concise. Instead of saying 'partly agree,' you might want to start with a strong statement outlining your position more definitively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a country or company that has successfully implemented a shorter work week.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition, especially in your conclusion. Restate your viewpoint using different words for a more sophisticated touch.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'On the other hand' can help make your argument flow better.
task achievement
You have a strong argument for both sides of the discussion, demonstrating a balanced view.
task achievement
Your essay covers several important aspects of the topic, including work-life balance and mental health, which are highly relevant.
coherence cohesion
The layout of your essay is logical, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example