some parents believe that children should do extra-curricular activities after school. Others say in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Although
Linking Words
it is often thought that after-school
activities
Use synonyms
are essential for
children
Use synonyms
's holistic growth, others claim that they add too much burden to
children
Use synonyms
having to juggle between academic and non-academic matters. In my opinion, I consider that co-curricular
activities
Use synonyms
are vital to developing important life skill sets,
such
Linking Words
as collaboration, empathy, and communication, but students should be forced to do them. On one hand,
according to
Linking Words
some, extra-curricular
activities
Use synonyms
, which mostly involve sports, community service, and arts, are a great platform for
children
Use synonyms
to learn teamwork and be creative. Undoubtedly, academic subjects focus too much on individual effort.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is often observed that many academically strong
children
Use synonyms
end up not as successful at work as their peers, who were active in co-curricular
activities
Use synonyms
since they struggle to collaborate and communicate effectively with others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, performing well in both academic and non-academic definitely shows that
children
Use synonyms
have gone above and beyond their basic academic expectations.
Hence
Linking Words
, top universities’ selection criterion emphasizes extra-curricular involvement.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people might argue that after-school
activities
Use synonyms
take away time from academic studies. Some parents who focus on academics only think that after-school
activities
Use synonyms
are a waste of time and energy. There is a heightened interest in mental health;
therefore
Linking Words
, some parents
also
Linking Words
prefer not to pressure their
children
Use synonyms
as it is not healthy. There are a lot of depressed
children
Use synonyms
in countries with demanding academic standards,
thus
Linking Words
, parents start prioritizing
children
Use synonyms
’s happiness.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, in
this
Linking Words
current society, which promotes free will, many support
children
Use synonyms
have the power to choose their own path.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it is
children
Use synonyms
's need to join extracurricular
activities
Use synonyms
. It provides a way to learn indispensable life skills. Though I agree that free will is a basic right,
children
Use synonyms
require proper guidance from experienced adults to navigate the real world. One way to resolve
this
Linking Words
is letting
children
Use synonyms
try and choose what co-curricular
activities
Use synonyms
that interest them. They
also
Linking Words
can make a lot of friends, who can be their valuable support system, through these
activities
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
but not least, research has shown that non-academic
activities
Use synonyms
could be a channel to release stress.
For example
Linking Words
, exercising releases dopamine which boosts mental health. In conclusion, extracurricular
activities
Use synonyms
have a lot of benefits for
children
Use synonyms
. Though it might add pressure, they can start learning about time management early by balancing both academic subjects and non-academic
activities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: