IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #citizens
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It has been claimed that economic increase in rich countries does not imply more satisfaction for their
citizens
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. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 statement for two reasons. The first
one
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 is that I think that getting richer, even if the person is already rich, will probably make the person feel better, and the second
one
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 is that I do not agree with generalizing
people
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’s feelings.
Firstly
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, we cannot deny that improving the
economy
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 in a rich
country
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 would contribute to the better well-being of
people
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, increasing their
life
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 quality standards.
One
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 example of
this
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 is Finlandia,
this
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country
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 is
one
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 of the happiest nations in the world and its wealth index is enormous.
People
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 have time to dedicate to their families
instead
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 of working all day and children attend school only for three hours, having the best education system with the highest educational standards. All
this
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 contributes to an improvement of the national
economy
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, making feel its
citizens
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 happier as their work-
life
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 balance gets better.
Secondly
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, I think that the majority of
citizens
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 may be happier in case of economic improvement.
However
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, not everything in
life
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 is about the
economy
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, and I think that
this
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 may be related to why some
people
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 are not feeling better with
this
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 “good news”. Nowadays, individuals are very confused about
life
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, and even if they are wealthy, money cannot resolve what a person feels or desires. Statistics show the highest suicide rates in the richest countries, which proves that being economically stable and rich does not guarantee happiness. In conclusion, even if some experts believe that an additional increase in the
economy
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 in a rich
country
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 would not make a difference among their
citizens
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, I think that it would definitely contribute to the better well-being of most
people
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 increasing their quality of
life
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 standards and satisfaction levels.
However
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, some sectors of society may be experiencing other issues in their lives that do not let them pain attention to other good things, like feeling happier because their
country
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 and their
people
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 are acceding to a better lifestyle standard. The
economy
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 may benefit
people
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 and bring stability into their lives but it cannot guarantee happiness for everyone.
Submitted by rominaprioletta90 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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