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Writing Samples
Band 6

some people believe that criminal should be punished after commiting crime. However, criminals are commiting crime again after completing their punishment.  why this might be the case. what can be done to solve this problem.

#people #crime #criminals #punishment #case
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A few sections of people consider
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
offenders
Use synonyms
 ought to be punished who take part in antisocial activities,
whereas
Linking Words
criminals
Use synonyms
 are participating in the offence again after their
punishment
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. The fundamental reason is that
offenders
Use synonyms
 have habitual of a felony, whilst the Supreme should apply a penalty for
criminals
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. Foremost, the prominent cause behind why
criminals
Use synonyms
 commit crimes again after their
punishment
Use synonyms
 is that when
offenders
Use synonyms
 are set free from prison, they would be addicted
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 as it is a convenient way to fulfil their basic needs without any hard work, so they perform criminal activities continuously.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in New York 35% of individuals commit crimes after completing their
punishment
Use synonyms
 because earning money by doing work is difficult for them. Despite the above-mentioned reason, there is a solution is government need to create strict laws. If higher authorities make policies for those
criminals
Use synonyms
 who commit
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
agian
Correct your spelling
again
 and again, they will have fear of
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 and
punishment
Use synonyms
 with the assistance of
this
Linking Words
 they do not do
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is an article published by The Tribune newspaper showed that the American government make
strict
Add an article
a strict
show examples
 rule for
offenders
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
crime
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rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 are decreasing regularly because they have afraid of
punishment
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as well as
Linking Words
 fines.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
criminals
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 do crimes as it is an effortless way of earning cash, but it puts an adverse impact on
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 development and it can be solved
one
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
 law authorities implement strong rules.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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