IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the only purpose of film is to entertain. Others say that films should always have some educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some communities argue that cinemas are made to amuse audiences.
However
Linking Words
, a few have a notion that films should have educational purposes.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that a film should contain certain values to the viewers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a couple of reasons why society merely went to the cinemas just for entertainment.
Firstly
Linking Words
 a lot of hard-working folk who endured an excessive workload stress and burnout tend to search for amusement.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they often go to the cinema to enjoy a film and distract their burden.
Secondly
Linking Words
, individuals typically have a taste in movies that has no lesson itself and it is only made for fun. To cite an example, horror and thriller movies are produced only to scare their watchers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the view that says these should contain some educational value is
also
Linking Words
 valid. Producers should direct more educational shows because more than half of the nation who watch pictures are children.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the public would spend hours watching flicks without learning something.
Moreover
Linking Words
, directors should arrange a movie based on real issues
such
Linking Words
 as global warming and climate change.
As a result
Linking Words
, groups of all ages can learn and conduct an action to avoid these problems from occurring.
To conclude
Linking Words
, theatres should maintain a balance in both entertainment and what they convey. The films that are meant for the younger generation should have elements of science or social justice as watchers can be influenced by them and behave
accordingly
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, they should
also
Linking Words
 be entertaining at the same time because it is a very good source of relaxation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and organization throughout your essay by improving logical structure between ideas. Use more explicit linking words and phrases to enhance the connections between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more effectively structured to outline the essay's position and to summarise the main points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and developed arguments. Adding more specific examples and evidence would create a stronger, more persuasive essay.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure all aspects of the task are covered completely. Address the prompt fully and develop your ideas to enhance response completeness.
task achievement
Improve your essay's ideas to be clearer and more comprehensive. Aim for a more precise exploration of the topic with a focus on depth and insight into the subject matter.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. You can strengthen your arguments and bring more interest to your essay through well-chosen examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: