IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is better to live away from home during college education than to stay with your parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#home #college #education #parents
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It is argued that good for students to stay away from their families through tertiary education. I totally agree with the statement, I
beileve
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believe
this
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 trend can educate young
people
Use synonyms
 valuable skills for their personal and professional life. To
beign
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begin
 with ,there are several reasons why I
belileve
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believe
 that young
people
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 who
study
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 university away from their
parents
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 can gain useful
epxerience
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experience
.
Firstly
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, young
people
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 will become more independent and responsible about their life
instead
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 of depending on their
parents
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. To illustrate, they learn
cooking
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to cook
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,
washing
Wrong verb form
wash
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, pay bills of electricity and rent
of
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apply
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campus or housing.
Furthermore
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, youth
people
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 can concentrate
in
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on
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 their studying and are more likely to achieve better performance in their college .
This
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 is because they
away
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are away
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 from conflicts of families ,which means less stress and anxiety.
Secondly
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, students who
study
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 higher education away from
families
Correct pronoun usage
their families
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 can gain adaptability.
In other words
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, they can become flexible to life in any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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 without any problems
such
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, feel isolated,
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or depression
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depression
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depressed
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, which can
helpful
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be helpful
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 for their future career, because some jobs require
employess
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employees
 who can travel from
place
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one place
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 to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
.
For example
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, in order to join
in
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apply
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the Amazon company should have
ability
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the ability
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 to work in any location
such
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 as remote areas,
rural
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or rural
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 areas.
Therefore
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, young
people
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 who
study
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 away from their
parents
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 can
develpe
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develop
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 skills , which help them to get better jobs opportunity. In conclusion, I strongly agree that youth who decide to
study
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 tertiary education away from their
parents
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 can improve many skills including,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of
independently
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independence
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as well as
Linking Words
responsbility
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responsibility
, and
flexbility
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flexibility
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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