Some people think that advertising on tv is useful for viewers while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is under discussion that many folks believe broadcasting is beneficial for observers

whereas

, others say that it is just a waste of time.

However

, it is an authentic way for all businessmen to promote their valuable products. I am going to discuss both perspectives in my

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

essay below.

To begin

with, the majority of the public is in favor of publishing new plans on the screen because in

this

way they are able to know about the object and whether it is good for them or not.

Moreover

, they decided on the basis of promotion which stuff they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

to buy and leave.

Consequently

, as we are living in a modern era

that is

the world of glamour

hence

Rephrase

apply

show examples

advertising plays a crucial role in boosting the economy. As the population is increasing

Rephrase

apply

show examples

hence

, the number of children

also

increased so, mothers are very curious about buying new things for their babies and the most important factor

such

as baby lotions, pampers, and much other stuff they buy just by watching adverts on

Correct your spelling

show examples

. On the flip side, there is a community

that is

against the advertisement and says it irritates them when they are watching their favourite show or drama they just switch off their mood and become furious sometimes.

For example

, these days a lot of facial

items promo

Fix the agreement mistake

item promos

show examples

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

every

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

second on

Correct your spelling

show examples

without watching they skip the ads and do not pay attention. In my opinion, they are not doing well because the economy of the country runs with

such

types of ads when people buy objects from the companies it helps to boost the financial status of the company so, it is beneficial for the country as well in

this

means people from other countries

also

show great concern towards that elements and buy them.

For instance

, Pakistan is famous for its textile industries and if they stop promoting their clothes how can they able to show their best side to the world? In conclusion, some of the ads make individuals furious because they are repeating the same adverts for one product only.

On the contrary

, there are more pros and the weightage of publishing products is greater and as far as I am concerned, it is the best idea to sell and introduce new development on tv and by doing

this

we can spread awareness about various other things as well.

Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on Wed Jun 07 2023

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Task Response

Improve task response by clearly addressing both perspectives and providing a balanced argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas more logically and providing a stronger introduction and conclusion.

Lexical Resource

Enhance lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.

Grammatical Range

Develop grammatical range by using more varied sentence structures and improving sentence clarity and accuracy.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

400 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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