Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying that rich
people
getting richer and poor people
are getting poorer. The economic unbalance is the worst case among social problems
these days but it seems that even the government cannot solve this
problem. However
, if rich people
participate in supporting people
, there will be hope. That is
why, I personally agree with that statement and there are some solutions to these problems
.
The first solution is to give people
opportunities to get quality education
. For example
, a finance education
has positive effects on making a better life. For instance
, Warren Buffet donated over 90% of his property to uneducated people
and poor people
and according to
the Washington Post, nearly 30% of uneducated people
were able to solve their own social problems
by a finance education
. And the second solution is to invest in building infrastructures in poor local communities. For instance
, building good infrastructures such
as libraries or education
centres makes a better society. According to
eminent psychologists, a positive environment brings positive thoughts. In addition
, rich people
like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates who are called ‘real rich people
’ believe that plenty of social problems
could be solved by supporting people
with money. And they said “The more you get the more you have to share with other people
who do not. That is
the secret of becoming rich.”
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I personally believe that even rich people
want to help other people
and the most important thing about being rich is helping each other.Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Some transitions could be smoother to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Try to avoid repeating the topic in your conclusion very closely to how it was mentioned in the introduction. Instead, summarize the key points discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction as well as a conclusion that effectively wraps up the argument.
Task Achievement
Specific examples, such as the contributions by Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, make the arguments more convincing and relatable.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion