Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying that rich
people
getting richer and poor Use synonyms
people
are getting poorer. The economic unbalance is the worst case among social Use synonyms
problems
these days but it seems that even the government cannot solve Use synonyms
this
problem. Linking Words
However
, if rich Linking Words
people
participate in supporting Use synonyms
people
, there will be hope. Use synonyms
That is
why, I personally agree with that statement and there are some solutions to these Linking Words
problems
.
The first solution is to give Use synonyms
people
opportunities to get quality Use synonyms
education
. Use synonyms
For example
, a finance Linking Words
education
has positive effects on making a better life. Use synonyms
For instance
, Warren Buffet donated over 90% of his property to uneducated Linking Words
people
and poor Use synonyms
people
and Use synonyms
according to
the Washington Post, nearly 30% of uneducated Linking Words
people
were able to solve their own social Use synonyms
problems
by a finance Use synonyms
education
. And the second solution is to invest in building infrastructures in poor local communities. Use synonyms
For instance
, building good infrastructures Linking Words
such
as libraries or Linking Words
education
centres makes a better society. Use synonyms
According to
eminent psychologists, a positive environment brings positive thoughts. Linking Words
In addition
, rich Linking Words
people
like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates who are called ‘real rich Use synonyms
people
’ believe that plenty of social Use synonyms
problems
could be solved by supporting Use synonyms
people
with money. And they said “The more you get the more you have to share with other Use synonyms
people
who do not. Use synonyms
That is
the secret of becoming rich.”
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I personally believe that even rich Linking Words
people
want to help other Use synonyms
people
and the most important thing about being rich is helping each other.Use synonyms
Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Some transitions could be smoother to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Try to avoid repeating the topic in your conclusion very closely to how it was mentioned in the introduction. Instead, summarize the key points discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction as well as a conclusion that effectively wraps up the argument.
Task Achievement
Specific examples, such as the contributions by Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, make the arguments more convincing and relatable.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion