Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying that rich
people
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getting richer and poor
people
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are getting poorer. The economic unbalance is the worst case among social
problems
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these days but it seems that even the government cannot solve
this
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problem.
However
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, if rich
people
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participate in supporting
people
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, there will be hope.
That is
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why, I personally agree with that statement and there are some solutions to these
problems
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. The first solution is to give
people
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opportunities to get quality
education
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.
For example
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, a finance
education
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has positive effects on making a better life.
For instance
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, Warren Buffet donated over 90% of his property to uneducated
people
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and poor
people
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and
according to
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the Washington Post, nearly 30% of uneducated
people
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were able to solve their own social
problems
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by a finance
education
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. And the second solution is to invest in building infrastructures in poor local communities.
For instance
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, building good infrastructures
such
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as libraries or
education
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centres makes a better society.
According to
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eminent psychologists, a positive environment brings positive thoughts.
In addition
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, rich
people
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like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates who are called ‘real rich
people
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’ believe that plenty of social
problems
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could be solved by supporting
people
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with money. And they said “The more you get the more you have to share with other
people
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who do not.
That is
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the secret of becoming rich.” In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I personally believe that even rich
people
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want to help other
people
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and the most important thing about being rich is helping each other.
Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Some transitions could be smoother to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Try to avoid repeating the topic in your conclusion very closely to how it was mentioned in the introduction. Instead, summarize the key points discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined introduction as well as a conclusion that effectively wraps up the argument.
Task Achievement
Specific examples, such as the contributions by Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, make the arguments more convincing and relatable.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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