IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that social networking sites (such ad Facebook) have had a huge impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree ?

#people #sites #ad #facebook #impact #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advanced technologies nowadays foster growth in users of social media in the world. In my opinion,
while
 various positive effects are derived from
such
 phenomena, including a better understanding of
people
 with different backgrounds, there are drawbacks which will cause social issues. On the bright side, the number of
people
 who use social networking sites,
such
 as Facebook; Instagram; and Twitter, which growing in size enhances the efficiency of communication around the world and stimulates globalisation. Residents in different nations nowadays are able to access different cultures and information to demolish discrimination caused by misunderstanding.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the younger generations in many regions are willing to embrace
people
 with different sexual orientations, which provides a friendly and more safe living environment for residents and fosters a harmonious society.
On the other hand
, there are various drawbacks derived from the incremental popularity of social media. First of all, users feel less responsible to make anonymous comments on the internet, which deteriorates verbal bullying in a virtual world.
Such
 as many influencers on Instagram are criticized for their appearance, which leads to low self-esteem, and even will increase the suicide rate.
Secondly
, the lack of censorship from authorities allows the spreading of misleading information.
For example
, there are many fake news during the pandemic, which causes unnecessary panic in public and makes many elderly
people
 refuse to take the vaccine. To summarise, in my perspective, it is inevitable that social networking sites will
continue
Add the particle
tocontinue
show examples
 gain the number of participants, even though, there are many positive influences that stimulate the process in societies,
people
 should, as well, take the downsides into perspective.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: