The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The pie charts

providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

the proportions of Australian household energy use and

greenhouse

gas emissions.

Overall

it is clear that

heating accounts

approximately

Change preposition

for approximately

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half

and

Change preposition

of and

show examples

has

highest

Change the article

the highest

show examples

use in

average

Correct article usage

the average

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household

Change preposition

show examples

the same time

Change preposition

apply

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the largest percentage of

greenhouse

nearly one-third belongs to water heating. 42% of energy consumed in an Australian family is emitted

due to

heating, which is the highest figure on the chart, followed by that of water heating, at 30%.

By contrast

, the figure for other appliances is just 15%, and the rest, including refrigeration, lighting and cooling, at 7%,4% and 2% respectively. Water heating is responsible for the production of 32% of total

greenhouse

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

while

the energy consumption for other appliances is 28%. In comparison, the figures for heating, refrigeration and lighting are 15%, 14% and 8% respectively. Meanwhile, cooling just accounts for 3% of

greenhouse

gases released.

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words greenhouse with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

147 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

In many parts of the world, people rely on private cars for transportation. In what ways does reliance on private cars affect the way we live? Do the effects tend to be positive or negative?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Air traffic is increasingly leading to more noise, pollution, and airport construction. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, using the internet in schools is getting more popular. In this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?