IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
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The provided charts give information about the proportion of
Australian
Use synonyms
households
Change noun form
household's
households'
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used from
appliances
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gases.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
clear
Change the adjective
clearly
show examples
 seen that
Australian
Use synonyms
 households use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of their
energy
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gas emissions for heating and water heating. Refrigeration is used the least in both charts. Getting back to the details, water heating and heating
energy
Use synonyms
 are the most popular among
Australian
Use synonyms
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 42% and 30% respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, heating
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
as
Add a missing verb
are as
show examples
 not popular as water heating and other
appliances
Use synonyms
 in
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gas emissions. The figure is less than a fifth per cent. The
lowest
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
 popular systems in both charts are cooling and lighting. The first
chart
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accounts
2
Change preposition
for 2
show examples
% and 4% respectively. In the second
Use synonyms
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it makes up 11% collectively. The refrigeration
energy
Use synonyms
 constitutes 7%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the second
chart
Use synonyms
 the percentage is twice as much as the first
chart
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, other
appliances
Use synonyms
 used wisely contribute 28% to
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gas emissions,
while
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption from other
appliances
Use synonyms
 is used less at 15% in
Australian
Use synonyms
 households.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, energy, appliances, greenhouse, chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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