Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

Nowadays, most famous people can easily access every person, especially

children

's groups through various types of

media

. Their action can affect both negatively and positively. For that reason, I agree to a certain degree that

celebrities

have a negative influence on

children

and

this

essay will discuss the issue.

celebrities

have both negative and positive aspects in their life.

Firstly

children

might make role models from the negative side of

celebrities

’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For example

, smoking cigarettes and drinking are some negative aspects of

celebrities

’ lifestyles which could have grave impacts on youngsters’ lifestyles.

Moreover

children

want to show themselves because of

celebrities

, so they might pretend to be someone that they are not. Examples can be seen in social

media

such

as Instagram and

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

Children

make some videos and clips about eating weird food. And

also

some

children

imitate some behaviour from their favourite

celebrities

and

children

totally

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

another person.

However

, certain channels have covered the lives of successful superstars

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

full of hardship, and

this

has been a source of inspiration for a number of teenagers. To

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

explain,

children

felt highly inspired listening to how a person became famous. Since

children

start believing what they see;

therefore

, in my opinion, if parents can monitor the

media

coverage of famous personalities that they are open to

view

Wrong verb form

viewing

show examples

, it does not need necessarily have an adverse impact on them. In conclusion, I would argue that the

media

coverage of

celebrities

is having both side effects if

children

have a piece of good advice from their family.

As a result

, it is not only parents that should select the best role model for kids, but the

media

should consider an unsuitable issue for

children

in every type of

media

Submitted by TUTOO on Thu Jun 08 2023

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task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, but work on providing a more balanced argument throughout the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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