Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, most famous people can easily access every person, especially
children
's groups through various types of
media
. Their action can affect both negatively and positively. For that reason, I agree to a certain degree that
celebrities
have a negative influence on
children
and
this
essay will discuss the issue.
celebrities
have both negative and positive aspects in their life.
Firstly
,
children
might make role models from the negative side of
celebrities
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
, smoking cigarettes and drinking are some negative aspects of
celebrities
’ lifestyles which could have grave impacts on youngsters’ lifestyles.
Moreover
,
children
want to show themselves because of
celebrities
, so they might pretend to be someone that they are not. Examples can be seen in social
media
such
as Instagram and
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
.
Children
make some videos and clips about eating weird food. And
also
some
children
imitate some behaviour from their favourite
celebrities
and
children
totally
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
another person.
However
, certain channels have covered the lives of successful superstars
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
full of hardship, and
this
has been a source of inspiration for a number of teenagers. To
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
explain,
children
felt highly inspired listening to how a person became famous. Since
children
start believing what they see;
therefore
, in my opinion, if parents can monitor the
media
coverage of famous personalities that they are open to
view
Wrong verb form
viewing
show examples
, it does not need necessarily have an adverse impact on them. In conclusion, I would argue that the
media
coverage of
celebrities
is having both side effects if
children
have a piece of good advice from their family.
As a result
, it is not only parents that should select the best role model for kids, but the
media
should consider an unsuitable issue for
children
in every type of
media
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, but work on providing a more balanced argument throughout the essay.
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