IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table and pie chart illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of police
money
Use synonyms
 in a specific area, Britain for 2017 and 2018. The table provides information about the sources of
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the chart shows how the
budget
Use synonyms
 was spent.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 which came from various sources decreased constantly in both two years and the
overall
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 is nearly the same. The fund was spent on salaries which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 given to officers and staff is higher rather than other fields. The highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
budget
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
came from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government, amounting
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 £175.5
million
Use synonyms
 and £177.8
million
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Thus
Linking Words
 it can
be say
Change the verb form
be said
show examples
 that
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government plays an important role in one area of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom. In terms of local taxes, the
amount
Use synonyms
 in 2017 rose slightly to reach £102.3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2018. The fund from other sources in both 2017 and 2018 holds
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
smilier
Correct your spelling
smaller
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
, accounting for £38
million
Use synonyms
 and £38.5
million
Use synonyms
 in turn. With
regarding
Replace the word
regard
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the geographical
spilts
Correct your spelling
splits
split
 of spending
money
Use synonyms
, the majority of
Use synonyms
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
 went to the salaries of officers and staff which stand in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place, at a massive 75% and 69% respectively. The much
money
Use synonyms
 is used
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 technology at a mere 14% in 2018 rather than in 2017.
Building
Correct article usage
The building
show examples
 and transport
budget
Use synonyms
 did not show any changes in both two years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, budget, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: