IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion, and water pollution. Do you think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodations to restrict today’s tourism industry?

There is no denying the fact that many governments benefit from
tourism
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
tourism
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 activities have caused an increase in
pollution
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 and that countries should impose taxes to reduce the number of
tourists
Use synonyms
, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 view. In my opinion, I believe that
tourism
Use synonyms
 is important, and we should not make it difficult for
people
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 to travel.
To begin
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 with, imposing taxes and fines on
tourists
Use synonyms
 is not an effective way to solve
pollution
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 issues, especially since the main beneficiaries are the host countries.
In other words
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, it is unfair to place the burden on
tourists
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, even if the taxes are low.
Moreover
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,
tourism
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 contributes significantly to the country’s economy by increasing national income and providing many job opportunities. It has helped many citizens improve their living conditions.
For example
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, in Thailand,
tourism
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 profits make up fifteen
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of the national budget. Another point to consider is that there are many sources of
pollution
Use synonyms
. If we take traffic as an example, we should
realize
Use the right word
realise
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 use cars in their hometowns just as they do when they travel, so
tourism
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 does not significantly increase
pollution
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.
Instead
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, we should provide electric cars and subway systems for transportation, and enforce laws requiring
people
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—especially taxi and bus drivers—to use them. These options should be made comfortable and affordable to encourage
tourists
Use synonyms
 to use them. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I believe that
tourism
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 has significant advantages. It benefits
people
Use synonyms
 more than it harms them, so critics should reconsider their position and focus on finding better solutions.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your main points in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to help your ideas flow better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide a strong example from Thailand to support your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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