IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #humans #animals #benefit #rights
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more people buy
pets
Use synonyms
 as a way of
amusment
Correct your spelling
amusement
.
Thus
Linking Words
, there is a discussion about the human treatment
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them. Plenty of people believe that humans can possess their
animals
Use synonyms
 as an asset,
while
Linking Words
 others think
animals
Use synonyms
 should have their own
rights
Use synonyms
 respected.
Although
Linking Words
pets
Use synonyms
 can have several
rights
Use synonyms
, I believe that their owners should treat them as possession.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, actually,
pets
Use synonyms
 have their own
rights
Use synonyms
 which should be
Correct article usage
a concerned
show examples
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
they should not be negatively affected by strangers. Like material assets,
pets
Use synonyms
 are the property of their owners and they should not be triggered, attacked or robbed by those who do not have authority
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 them.
This
Linking Words
 situation is like robbing a
luxirious
Correct your spelling
luxurious
 bag from a woman or breaking the glass of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 automobile is illegal.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
 have the right to be cured by veterinarians. Like a broken television brought to a repairman
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when injured or sick, dogs or cats can be treated by animal doctors.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
rights
Use synonyms
 of
pets
Use synonyms
 are not enough to neglect the authority of humans
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 them. First of all,
besides
Linking Words
 the two aforementioned
rights
Use synonyms
,
animals
Use synonyms
 possibly have no others. Up to now, there have been no transparent definitions
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
rights
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, treating
pets
Use synonyms
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property is more likely not illegal or at least offensive.
In addition
Linking Words
, at present,
animals
Use synonyms
, including
pets
Use synonyms
, are the products of an enormous industry. In
this
Linking Words
 economic sector, they are fed and allowed to breed to supply various demands of humans,
such
Linking Words
 as guarding
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
, catching mice, filling the feeling of solitude and playing with children when adults are not at home.
Thus
Linking Words
, to all extent,
animals
Use synonyms
 are a kind
goods
Change preposition
of goods
show examples
 that people can exchange in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in spite of some apparent
rights
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as being secured and medically cured,
animals
Use synonyms
 should be treated as the asset of their owners.
Submitted by anhh354159 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: